Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Audit

What is an Audit?


Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, 'If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?' The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, 'Okay.'


The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables. He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, ‘'You have exactly 1,586 sheep.' The shepherd cheers, 'That's correct, you can have your sheep.'


The young man takes one of the animals from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks, 'If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?' The young man answers, 'Yes, why not?' The shepherd says, 'You are an auditor.' 'How did you know?' asks the young man. 'Very simple,' answers the shepherd.


'Firstly, you came here without being wanted.
Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.
Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business.....

Now can I have my dog back? '

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Israel: Wishing You A Happy Independence Day


Sometimes Pictures Speak Louder Than Words!
I was pleasantly surprised when I received this email from Orna Sagiv, the Consul General of Israel for India. The Israelis did not have to do this for our girl-children! Think about it....And please watch the movie clip as well.
India, the world's biggest democracy, and Israel, one of the tiniest democracies, surprisingly have much in common. Both are the cradles to the world's most dominant religions. Thus, for over 5000 years they have sprouted the foundations of human culture, as we know it today. Both these countries have many sites, which are considered the holiest to the largest number of followers all over the globe. Both countries received their independence from the British in the late 40s and both have ever since been trying to recuperate from the aftermath of geographic division based on religion. We have many cultural and social similarities. We both built our nations from scratch; we value education and hard work. We are quick to adapt to a new methodologies and we thirst for success and recognition.India and Israel are among the most significant democracies of the modern world. People are encouraged to make choices and more importantly be heard.
Given India's strong scientific and technological base, Israel is keen on strengthening professional medical ties with India.
If we have to emulate a nation in education, nation-building, defence, education, research, science, technology & National-pride, it should be only Israel.
We are natural allies...will get closer as these turbulent & violent years pass by! Whether Israelis & Indians want it or not, I see a stronger partnership between these vibrant democracies in the years to come.