Little Sipho

Young Sipho goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking.
He puts his hands in the flour and covers his head with it.
He says: "Look mamma, I am a white boy!"
His mother slaps him hard on the face and says: "Sipho, go show your dad what you've done!!"
So he does, and his dad slaps him too.
His granny happens to be right next to his dad and she slaps him vehemently in disgust.
Then Sipho's mom says: "Did you learn something from all this?
The poor little Sipho shakes his head, crying and says:
"I did. I've only been a white boy for 5 minutes and I'm already scared of you blacks!"

Take Care While Driving!

The Honda rider was traveling at such a high speed, his reaction time was not sufficient enough to avoid this accident. Swedish Police estimate a speed of ~250 KM/h (155mph) before the bike hit the slow moving car side-on at an intersection. At that speed, they predicted that the rider's reaction time (once the vehicle came into view) wasn't sufficient enough for him to even apply the brakes.

The car had two passengers and the bike rider was found INSIDE the car with them. The Volkswagen actually flipped over from the force of impact and landed 10 feet from where the collision took place. All three involved (two in car and rider) were killed instantly. This graphic demonstration was placed at the Stockholm Motorcycle Fair by the Swedish Police and Road Safety Department. The sign above the display also noted that the rider had only recently obtained his license.

At 250 KM (155 mph) the rider is traveling at 227 feet per second. With normal reaction time to SEE-DECIDE-REACT of 1.6 seconds the above rider would have traveled over 363 feet while making a decision on what actions to take. In this incident the Swedish police indicate that no actions were taken.

Beach Sand Art

Women using IVF more likely to conceive when stressed

Women who are stressed out when undergoing IVF may have a higher chance of falling pregnant, research suggests.
Those reporting higher stress levels had up to double the chance of a positive pregnancy test when compared with those who were more relaxed, according to a study on 217 women.
They were asked on their first appointment how much fertility-related stress they were experiencing on a scale from 1 to 10.
Those who scored 1 to 3 on the scale had a pregnancy rate of 30 per cent while those who scored 7 to 10 had a rate of 50 to 60 per cent.
Dr Robert Hunter, from Staten Island University Hospital in New York, which carried out the study, said previous research had found a similar finding. However, other studies have discovered that stress can negatively affect IVF.
'We were a little surprised by the outcome of the study - we were expecting the opposite result,' Dr Hunter said.
'It highlights the complexity of stress. There's a very complex relationship between stress pathways and the reproductive pathways.
'This is something that we're still struggling to understand and more work needs to be done.'
Dr Hunter said there was good evidence, however, that stress could actually improve how the body functions, such as the 'fight or flight' response.
Levels of key hormones rise when a person is under stress, including the adrenal hormones adrenaline and cortisol.
The team are now planning further studies, including looking at these markers of stress in the body.
Co-researcher Dr Eric Knochenhauer said questions also need to be asked about sources of stress, such as coming from a partner, worries about the costs of IVF and pressure from parents, in-laws or friends.
'Fertility-related discussions used to be something that nobody had with friends but now it's much more common,' he said.
'I think that causes stress for some patients.'
Another one of the researchers, Dr Michael Traub, said one interesting finding from the study related to older women, who reported being less stressed.
'If they are older and they think their chances of becoming a parent are very low, they might have less stress because their expectations are lower.'
All the findings held true even when factors such as depression, smoking status, age and alcohol intake were taken into account.
Tony Rutherford, chair of the British Fertility Society, said: 'This study used a questionnaire to assess stress rather than looking for biochemical markers.
'There is some evidence that increasing stress might be of benefit to patients undergoing IVF.
'In the UK we are pushing for a national trial on whether steroids improve IVF.
'It's an interesting relationship.'

IVF success usually peaks early

More tries aren't necessarily better when it comes to in vitro fertilization. New research found that about 1 in 3 women had a baby the first time they tried a test tube embryo, and that improved to nearly 1 in 2 with a second try.
However, undergoing a third cycle boosted success rates very little and leveled off with subsequent attempts.
"Don't quit if the first cycle isn't successful. Your chances go up with the second cycle," said lead researcher Barbara Luke of Michigan State University. But "if you haven't gotten pregnant by the third, the chances are slim to continue."
In vitro fertilization involves mixing egg and sperm in a laboratory dish. The resulting embryo is then transferred into the womb to grow into a baby. Earlier last month, British researcher Robert Edwards won the medicine Nobel Prize for pioneering the technique that has led to 4 million test tube babies.
Infertility treatment is expensive. The average cost for an IVF cycle is about $12,400, according to the American Society of Reproductive Medicine. Some insurance companies cover it.
Desperate couples often try over and over to conceive, and there are no ethics standards on when doctors should stop helping them try. Fertility clinics report success rates based on the number of cycles attempted, but that doesn't indicate how likely an individual woman is to get pregnant with each IVF cycle she undergoes.
The new study is the first to examine that nationally. It looked at in vitro procedures around the country between 2004 and 2008.
Over the five-year period, some 300,000 women had more than half a million IVF cycles that resulted in 171,327 first-time deliveries. The live birth rate was 36% on the first IVF try, 48% with a second cycle and 53% with a third attempt.
Among those who tried seven or more times, the chance of success was 56% -- hardly any better than the 53% after three tries.
The findings show "diminishing returns" after three IVF cycles, said lead researcher Luke. "The results are not going to be much better."

Quintuplets revisited!

Sarah Pavlenko made history 21 years ago as one of the world's first IVF quintuplets. This week Ms Pavlenko has returned to the same Perth hospital where she was delivered to begin a career caring for miracle babies just like her. "I always wanted to be a nurse," she said. "I grew up hearing stories about my time in the neonatal ward being cared for alongside my brother and sisters."Those stories inspired me to get into the health system."

The Pavlenko quintuplets Sarah, Jessica, Joshua, Aimee and Breeanna were born at King Edward Memorial Hospital on January 18, 1989.The births made headlines around the world and the Pavlenkos are still the only quins on record to be born at WA's maternity hospital.

"People always ask me what it was like to grow up as a quin," Ms Pavlenko said. "The best part was that there was always someone around to talk to or hang out with. The older we've got, the closer we've become."

Ms Pavlenko returned to KEMH on Monday to start her nursing career after graduating from Edith Cowan University.She will be working in the neonatal intensive-care unit where the state's sickest babies are kept alive.The hallways to the neonatal unit are still covered in newspaper clippings and photos of the Pavlenko quins as babies.

"I've had hospital staff come up to me and tell me that they were working the day that I was born," Ms Pavlenko said. "It's amazing. They're so happy to see me again it's like I'm family. "It shows that the hospital must be a good place to work if the staff are still there 21 years later." Ms Pavlenko said it was surreal to look at the babies in the neonatal ward and imagine that once it was her. "They're so tiny," she said. "Holding them you can't help but think that it was once you. But, each baby is an individual with its own special needs."

One of her sisters, Breeanna, will also become a nurse within months at Princess Margaret Hospital for Children.Amazingly, the same day the Pavlenko quintuplets were born, quadruplets were also delivered at KEMH.

Les Affaires

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed
and told his lover to take his shoes
outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

'I'm having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said:

'You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!'


The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife: 'There's no way I can
be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
'No, not this time…!'



The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated,
and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated
with such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase,
and took it home.

'I have something to show, you won't believe,
' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'


The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she
heard her husband opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,' she said.
'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired
as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.
'The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing.'


The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe,
went to the bar and ordered a beer.

'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'

'One Cent?' the man exclaimed..

He glanced at the menu and asked:
'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?'

'A nickel,' the barman replied.

'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.
'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.'

The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?'

The bartender replied:
'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'


The 6th & Best Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly:
'I have something I must confess…'

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'