I Don't Have A Headache

A guy is out with his buddies.

He has a few drinks, but true to his wife goes home.
When he gets home he finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouth wide open.

Gets two aspirin and drops them in her mouth.

Of course she chokes but recovers and asks,
"What did you put in my mouth??"

He says, "Two aspirins".

She replies, "BUT I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE"!!!


He says, "That's what I wanted to hear.

The New BMW X6 Launch In Mumbai

This is my object of desire! Number 1 on my wish-list:) Maybe the heavens open up & I get some rich unknown relative bequeathing a BMW X6 this year! Wake up Gautam & get back to doing oocyte retrievals..All the same I must tell you about the new BMW X6 launch earlier this month in Mumbai.I was attending a BRX meeting & happened to see a very fancy upmarket BMW showroom all lit up & some executives welcoming guests. Curiosity got the better of me & I went across to the entrance opposite the Nehru Center at Worli & was surprised to read "Infinity Cars"... the same dealer that services by BMW 520d!! An executive told me that this was the Inauguration of their new showroom. I was dismayed that I was not on the invitee list, but the lure of the BMW made me gate-crash the inauguration with a close buddy & we went up to the second level. This was one of the best car showrooms I have been to - aesthetics in place with straight minimalistic lines & indirect lighting. Upon entering the lounge on Level 2, my breath was taken away by the new BMW X6!!!!!
BMW launched its SUV – sedan crossover at the Infinity Showroom launch! One of the most drool-worthy machines on planet earth. BMW has fashioned an innovative model in this newly launched BMW X6 Sports Utility Vehicle (SUV). This model is a kind of inter-hybrid of an SUV mixed with an elegant vehicle. By means of its contemporary attractive looks it has a distinct personality; BMW X6 is a perfect car to merge in your work life along with your personal play times... Live, Dream, Drive, Fly!!! It is uniquely equipped with the versatility as well as the ease by which it gets transformed. It features an all-wheel x-Drive system that promises better traction, higher stability and more safety. The car comes to life with its new V8 power unit with Twin Turbo technology and direct injection.It combines the attributes of an SUV (high ground clearance, all wheel drive and all-weather ability, large wheels and tires) with the stance of a coupé (bold styling, dramatic sloping roof).
The X6 marks BMW's first use of its new Dynamic Performance Control system, which works in unison with x-Drive all-wheel drive (both are standard on the X6). DPC is a drive,train and chassis control system that works to regulate traction and especially correct over- and understeer by actively spreading out drive forces across the rear axle. Torque is split not only between the front and rear wheels (x-Drive) but also from side to side at the rear for improved agility and added stability (through the DPC rear axle).Dynamic Performance Control is currently unique in that it is effective when the X6 is both accelerating and decelerating, so at any speed and under any road condition.

Living luxuriously- BMW and X6 both promise to keep your life cocooned and surrounded in luxuries. Having a power moon roof sheds giving fine glow to the calf leather upholstery which one will sink into.....ummmmm (If wishes were horses!!).It promises to keep you safe even in uncertain travel conditions as it is equipped with 6 airbags with electronic stability control. The killer looks of the BMW X6 complement its road handling abilities. This vehicle is prepared to grip the surface hard even in the toughest landscapes. With its flattering sporty handling one will feel as if sailing over the toughest road conditions. One can even crowd it up with luggage as this vehicle has a power lift gate which automatically unlocks itself to disclose the cargo area and easily storing all your off road gears.

No wonder that 90% of males between 30-50 years interviewed in 34 countries selected a BMW car as their “Vehicle Running in Dreams”!!!

Lavasa in Red

Red Translations

red in Afrikaans is rood
red in Dutch is rood, blozend
red in Finnish is punainen
red in French is rouge
red in German is rot
red in Italian is vermiglio, rosso
red in Latin is rutilus, puniceus, rufus
red in Portuguese is vermelho
red in Spanish is tinto, rojo















Color is an intense experience on its own.
-Jim Hodges
Lavasa is gorgeous. The sunshine in Lavasa is gorgeous red in March. Red is any of a number of similar colors evoked by light consisting predominantly of the longest wavelengths of light discernible by the human eye. In human color psychology, red is associated with heat, energy and blood, and emotions that "stir the blood", including anger, passion, and love! Lavasa in March is the season of Love. The word red comes from the Old English rēad. Further back, the word can be traced to the Proto-Germanic rauthaz and the Proto-Indo European root reudh-. This is the only color word which has been traced to an Indo-European root. In Sanskrit, the word rudra means red. In the English language, the word red is associated with the color of blood, certain flowers (e.g. roses), and ripe fruits (e.g. apples, cherries). Fire is also strongly connected, as is the sun and the sky at sunset. Red is frequently used as a symbol of guilt, sin and anger, often as connected with blood or sex. A biblical example is found in Isaiah: "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow."
The association with love and beauty is possibly related to the use of red roses as a love symbol. Both the Greeks and the Hebrews considered red a symbol of love, as well as sacrifice.
Red is the ultimate cure for sadness.
-Bill Blass
I was having my "missing-Lavasa" pangs & drove down Friday afternoon to my destination of dreams. Had my usual addictive "batata-wada-pao" on the express-way & zoomed onto the Lavabahn, which was as inviting and pristine as ever. The "short-cut" from just before Pirangut towards Lavarde has been tarred & widened for 3/4ths of its length. The Beamer slipped over the top of the Lavabahn like "makkhan"! On the ascent, I noticed the forest covered in red!! The color red is associated with lust, passion, love, and beauty as well. These 4 words describe Lavasa as well. The trees were swathed with red flowers (genus unknown!).The usual drive from the beginning of the Lavabahn takes just 30 minutes, but this time I took all of 75 minutes to reach the Lavasa Dwaar; making many short halts on the way admiring & photographing nature in its full glory. The red flowers on the trees were mesmerizing. The flowers were glowing in the radiant sunlight like fireflies around a bright flame! This was in stark contrast to the jowar fields which were enveloped in rust-brown shades with a little green of dried grass peeking through. This was hay-making time & the villagers along the route were making bundles of hay. The jowar pods reminded me of how life begins from earth & ends there too. The wild shrubs by the sides of the Lavabahn were also sprouting flowers in shades of purple. Nature seemed to be smiling in March.
I got out of my car and decided to take a walk on the wild side. As I walked and thought about what to spot that resembled nature, I would notice trees with palm-like fronds, flowers, grass, and birds of assorted kinds. Some of these trees were as high as a third floor building. Nature is amazing no matter how it is created.These huge trees with the red flowers were the predominant feature of my tryst with Lavasa this time.

And then I passed through the Lavasa Dwaar. The landscape here was well organized. I mean if nature had done it by itself, I know it would not look the same. Since man organized it, it was different. It was different in a pretty way though. The different plants organized in such a manner. One kind of flowers was in a row and another kind was in a row in back. The way they placed vines to spread in a certain manner around the plants made it more colorful. All this was close to the helipad and not a forest, yet it was nature. The sun shone however, it seemed that its rays never quite made it to the deep nature trail created by the Ekaant team which leads to the Dwaar. Nonetheless, my surroundings seemed to have no complaints at all. The wild bush, medicinal plants and trees, and flowering shrubs danced merrily to the tune of the wind. It was then that I realized that even though it was Indian summer time, the area was filled with a colorful scenery. Adding to the hues of nature were some birds who hung out nonchalantly waiting for a bite to eat. As I stood there feeling the wind against my cheeks, I couldn’t help but admire nature’s unique way of taking care of its creatures. I think what impressed me the most was the number of different species that shared the same abode without threatening each other’s territory.

I now spend my days at Lavasa fleeting from flower to flower, photographing these miracles of nature and I’ve discovered that I am not alone. There are hundreds of butterflies out there, in all the hues of nature. For now, it is enough that I have become what I was meant to be and the flowers seem equally happy.

The true color of life is the color of the body, the color of the covered red, the implicit and not explicit red of the living heart and the pulses. It is the modest color of the unpublished blood.
-Alice Meynell

George Carlin's Views on Ageing

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and make it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into ! your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning. ! Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

"Life's journey is not to
arrive at the grave safely
in a well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways,
totally worn out, shouting
'...holy shit ...what a ride!"

It ia always nice to have an Indian physician on-board

It was already a packed flight from Amsterdam to Boston, but passengers and crew were more than happy to make room for one extra person this morning when a Ugandan woman gave birth to a baby girl.

Two doctors aboard Northwest Airlines flight 59 sprang into action when the call came across the Boeing 757's public address system for a medical emergency. The physicians found a woman 8-1/2 months pregnant and moaning with severe abdominal pain. She was obviously in labor and the child's head had already crowned, according to the doctors.

As the plane cruised somewhere over Canada, the doctors laid the woman across a row of seats in coach class while a husband and wife from Danvers held up a blanket to create a makeshift delivery room. Flight attendants grabbed a medical bag and handed the doctors surgical gloves, a clamp, and scissors. At about 9 a.m., the woman gave birth to a 6-1/2 pound baby girl she named Sasha.

"She looked perfect," said Dr. Paresh Thakkar, a family physician from Methuen. "She opened her eyes and was very happy. She was so calm, she didn't cry at all."

Thakkar was assisted by Dr. Natarajan Raman, a radiology oncologist from Minneapolis. They snipped and clamped the umbilical cord and handed the girl to her mother. The entire plane burst into applause.

When the flight landed at Logan International Airport at 10:30 a.m., mother and daughter were whisked by ambulance to Massachusetts General Hospital, where they are reported to be doing well.

Customs officials said that Sasha was deemed a Canadian citizen, because she was born over Canadian airspace. The name of the mother was not released.

National Anthem?

This is interesting. .....and shocking.... ........ any wise ones to comment on the veracity?? I have no clue!!!


'Jana Gana Mana' - Just a thought for the National Anthem! How well do you know about it?

I have always wondered who is the ' adhinayak'and' bharat bhagya vidhata',whose praise we are singing.. I thought might be Motherland India ! Our current National Anthem 'Jana Gana Mana'is sung throughout the country.

Did you know the following about our national anthem, I didn't.

To begin with, India 's national anthem, Jana Gana Mana Adhinayaka, was written by Rabindranath Tagore in honor of King George V and the Queen of England when they visited India in 1919. To honor their visit Pandit Motilal Nehru had the five stanzas included , which are in praise of the King and Queen.(And most of us think it is in the praise of our great motherland!! !)

In the original Bengali verses only those provinces that were under British rule,i.e . Punjab, Sindh,Gujarat ,Maratha etc. were mentioned. None of the princely states were recognized which are integral parts of India now Kashmir, Rajasthan, Andhra, Mysore or Kerala.

Neither the Indian Ocean nor the Arabian Sea was included, since they were directly under Portuguese rule at that time. The Jana Gana Mana Adhinayaka implies that King George V is the lord of the masses and Bharata Bhagya Vidhata is 'the bestower of good fortune'.

Following is a translation of the five stanzas that glorify the King.

First stanza: (Indian) People wake up remembering your good name and ask for your blessings and they sing your glories. (Tava shubha name jaage; tava shubha aashish maage, gaaye tava jaya gaatha)

Second stanza: Around your throne people of all religions come and give their love and anxiously wait to hear your kind words..


Third stanza: Praise to the King for being the charioteer, for leading the ancient travelers beyond misery.

Fourth stanza: Drowned in the deep ignorance and suffering, poverty-stricken, unconscious country? Waiting for the wink of your eye and your mother's (the Queen's) true protection....

Fifth stanza: In your compassionate plans, the sleeping Bharat (India) will wake up. We bow down to your feet O' Queen, and glory to Rajeshwara (the King).

This whole poem does not indicate any love for the Motherland but depicts a bleak picture. When you sing Jana Gana Mana Adhinayaka, whom are you glorifying? Certainly not the Motherland. Is it God? The poem does not indicate that.. It is time now to understand the original purpose and the implication of this, rather than blindly sing as has been done the past sixty years.

Nehru chose the present national anthem as opposed to Vande Mataram because he thought that it would be easier for the band to play!!!

It was an absurd reason but today for that matter bands have advanced and they can very well play any music. So they can as well play Vande Mataram, which is a far better composition in praise of our dear motherland India!

Reproducing Makes You Famous

People like Nadya Suleman, the IVF junkie mother of 14, and Alfie Patten, the 13-year-old father from England, are getting famous just for reproducing. It's a pretty gross trend.

Probably the most troubling thing of all is how greedily we've slopped all this stuff up. But after making celebrity baby covers the biggest sellers for the likes of Us, People and OK!, we get the freakshow news we deserve. Still hungry for more and more babies, we've turned to the circus disaster that is regular lives made alien and shocking when bad choices mixed with a few bits of bad luck and stories were born.

Maybe it coms from exhaustion with all the other media. First it was scripted television shows, and then their high-concept reality descendants. And now we've sifted through every last layer of story until we've gone and found a low, universal denominator. People come out of other people's vaginas sometimes. The more that come out of the same one or the younger the owners of the necessary body parts are, the more we're interested. 220 channels and nothing else was on, so we've settled on the baby zoo currently on display on TLC or sitting in a dimly-lit room across from Ann Curry.

While Suleman's desire to go and get herself knocked up with octuplets when she was already a cash-strapped mother of six probably had far more to do with some murky and deep-seated emotional cataclysms than it did with a desire for fame, the end result has been a raft of high profile TV appearances, implied hopes for a reality series, and a website asking fans or followers or whomever to donate money to this Elephantitis-suffering family. Ms. Suleman has become a rickety celebrity simply by making the wreckless decision to bring many children into this world for whom she had no way of caring. Good for us!

Little Mister Patten may not have been courting fame when he got his young girlfriend pregnant, but now he's likely being paid exclusivity fees by the Sun. And, in the wake of the media frenzy surrounding the unsettling story, two more boys have come forward, claiming paternity of 15-year-old Chantelle Steadman's daughter. There are posed photos of the two boys, aged 14 and 16, on Splash, the photo agency where I find many of the silly celebrity pictures I use for Open Caption.

It had become fairly routine for celebrities to profit off the act of procreation, what with the big glossy magazine industry and whatnot. But now common folks are saying "me too!" and the troubling thing is, if you don't already have a certain degree of popularity, you have to make your babymaking pretty sensational to get any attention. And what's sensational is often ugly. Again these folks probably didn't enter into reproduction with designs on tabloid notoriety, but once the first publicist calls or newspaper camera flashes... Well, the Siren call is tough to resist.

Though humanity has its limits, and the public outcry against Nadya Suleman—and the sad revulsion expressed over the Patten thing—suggests that maybe there is a limit to this mayhem. But we don't suspect it will die down quickly. Prepare yourselves for other strange stories, for other curious and unpleasant parlor tricks of the body. After all, while everything's being torn down around it, Coney Island still has its sideshow.

richard@gawker.com