What is a Golf Ball Worth?

This man reached into a golf course pond in Berkeley County- South Carolina, and paid the price of an arm! The pictures say it all!

Miles

Another pregnant man is preparing to give birth this month!

Scott Moore is due to give birth to a boy in late February, with husband Thomas by his side.

The couple were both born girls and have undergone surgery to transform their sex. Scott, 30, who is legally married to Thomas because he still has a female birth certificate, says he is eagerly looking forward to giving birth. They have decided to call the child ‘Miles’.

‘We know some people will criticize us but we are blissfully happy and not ashamed,’ Scott said.

The couple, from California, already have two children – Gregg, 12, and Logan, 10 – who Thomas had with a previous female partner.

Scott, who started out in life as a girl named Jessica, first realized he wanted to be a man when he hit puberty aged 11.

‘When I told my family they thought I was crazy but they gradually realized I was serious and allowed me to start taking male hormones when I was 16 years old,’ he said.

His parents paid for Scott to have his 36DDD chest removed. However, he could not afford the gender surgery, so still has female organs. Thomas, who used to be called Laura, had a hysterectomy and gender reassignment surgery last year. They met in 2005 at a support group meeting for trans gender men but lost touch – but saw each other again in 2007.

‘We knew we had to be together,’ Scott said. ‘Two months later I gave up my job to live with Thomas and the boys. ‘Now they call me “dad two”.’The couple, who live in a four-bedroom house, decided in December 2008 to try for a baby. Scott was inseminated with the sperm of a male friend and fell pregnant in June 2009.

‘We were so happy we did what all gay men do when they get excited – we went shopping,’ Thomas said.

The couple have dismissed concerns that Miles might be teased at school, saying they are confident they can deal with it.

‘We’ve been through it already,’ Thomas said. ‘My son Logan was bullied but now he just says to teasers: “You may have a problem with my two dads but I don’t so you’re not hurting me”.’

Scott plans to have a natural birth at their local hospital. Their doctor and obstetrician have told the medics at the local hospital.

‘We didn’t want everyone to be shocked when a man turns up to give birth,’ Scott said.‘We found it very difficult to get a doctor and midwife at first. It was hard when people didn’t want to treat me… No pregnant person should be denied health care just because they are a man.’ But he added: ‘I’m looking forward to giving birth now. With Thomas at my side everything will be just fine.’

Thomas said: ‘We want to show the world that trans-families can be healthy, loving and nurturing.’

Are we the only ones who have trouble understanding why a woman who wants to be a man seems crazy when they decide (using the female organs they supposedly didn’t want in the first place) to do the most womanly thing possible???

Half a Man? Not Yet!

Half A Man?

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies within us while we live.










Peng Shuilin had half of his body amputated after being run over by a truck. But he never gave up! His recovery has amazed surgeons after almost two years undergoing a series of operations. The vice-president of the hospital where this 37-year old Chinese man has been treated said: He is amazing and the only person in the world to survive having so much of his body amputated. He's doing well now and has opened his own bargain supermarket - called the Half Man-Half Price Store. That's incredible. It seems nothing can get him down!

Life never seems to be the way we want it, but we live it the best way we can. There is no perfect life but we can fill it with perfect moments."

HOW MUCH DO YOU NORMALLY SPEND ON DINNER ????

Roman Abramovich (owner of Chelsea football club in case you didn't know)in the company of Dasha Zhukova and his son Arkadi and three business partners stopped over for lunch at restaurant "Nello" in New York.It was obvious from the start that the high quality and type of food take priority over cost said restaurant owner Nello Balan. Mr Abramovich began his diner with carpachio with white trufles followed by Milan lamb with pasta and parmesan.For dessert Mr Abramovish tried delicious tiramisu. They were drinking champagne and expensive wines. They looked no different than New York tourists said waiter. Drinks included 2 bottles of Chateau Petrus, 3 bottles of La Tache Romanee Conti pinot noir and 2 large bottles (1.5 litre each) chamagne Cristal Rose ($5,000 per bottle). The wine only came to $35,000. Pregnant Miss Zhukov was drinking $16 mineral water. Mr Abramovich face did not change when he saw the bill, said waiter. He only asked if the service was included. The couple sitting at the next table thought they won a lottery. The owner of the restaurant gave Mr Abramovich a soccer ball as memento for being a special client, and suggested he should buy New York Yankees. Mr Abramovich replied - no thanks, I have plenty of problems with Chelsea.Total sum came to $47,000 US in just 1hr and 18min. The bill included 20% tip, however they generously gave waiter another $5,000 in cash.
In total they spent around $52K for lunch. Many people make this in a year: said journalists and advised rapper Jay-Z (who left $1,700 tip in the same restaurant) to "eat his heart out"

Colonoscopy Journal

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking,
'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug.
This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything.

And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me..

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.


ABOUT THE WRITER:

Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.

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Also by Dave Barry, on the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married..'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

And the best one of all: 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Sex Eggucation