They were born 1,000 miles apart, in Britain and Finland. Now two four-year-old boys have discovered they share a sperm-donor father.
When Sally, 43, gave birth to her son Alex, she knew only that his father was Danish and was a good footballer with blue eyes and a talent for jazz piano.
He was identified by the alias “Jens” and by his sperm sample number, 3001, from the Cryos clinic in Denmark.
Alex has become the first British child to be put in touch with a half-brother or half- sister by a US-based website, the Donor Sibling Registry.
After posting details on the site, Sally was contacted by Riikka Turunen, a graphic designer from Helsinki, Finland. Turunen had used sperm from the same donor to conceive her baby boy, Kasper, who was born in August 2004, just six weeks after Alex.
The mothers now regularly chat by email and swap photographs of the boys, and they are planning to meet.
The case raises questions in Britain about whether children should have the right from birth to know they have been conceived with donor eggs or sperm and to be told the identity of their genetic parents. Children born since April 1, 2005, are entitled to be told the identities of their genetic parents when they reach the age of 18, although without the consent of those bringing them up, it is hard to insist on. The rule also applies to foreign sperm used in British clinics.
Alex was born in Warwick before the law came into force, and recipients of donated sperm such as Sally have no right to know who the donor is.
Sally, a marketing manager who does not wish to disclose her surname, set out to trace her son’s brothers and sisters through the Donor Sibling Registry website because she wanted Alex to know more about his genetic background. Fourteen British children conceived via donors have so far contacted each other through the registry and 111 British families are using it to look for relations.
Sally, who has dual British and Australian nationality and has moved to Melbourne, said: “Out of the blue, I got an email from this person in Finland saying ‘I have just noticed your information on the website. Are
you absolutely sure your donor was number 3001 from Cryos because we have a son born from the same donor?’”
Sally underwent IVF treatment, using donated sperm, at the private Midland Fertility Services clinic at the age of 38. Gillian Lockwood, medical director of the Midland clinic, believes the rules in Britain should change so children can be told the identity of their donor parent before they are 18.
Although Sally was living in Britain, she bought the sperm through the US office of the Danish sperm bank, because more details of the donor could be disclosed in America. “If my son became a good pianist, I could
say: ‘You don’t get that from me; you get that from your donor father.’ I wanted to be forearmed,” she said.
Sally has examined photos of her son’s half-brother for traits inherited from their father. “I think there are similarities in the mouth and chin,” she said. She insists it will be up to the boys how much contact they have with their half-brothers. “Alex is interested in football and I told him his donor father was good at it,” she said. sunday times, london
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