40cm penis tattooed on man's back

A 21-YEAR-OLD Bundamba man will front court after he allegedly tattooed an unwanted lewd image and slogan on his mate’s back.

Police allege the man, who was not a professional tattooist, talked his friend into having the tattoo while the friend was visiting him at home.

After the 25-year-old victim got home, he was horrified to discover the tattoo was far from what he expected.

Instead of a Yin and Yang symbol with some dragons, the tattoo featured a 40cm-long image of a penis and a slogan implying he was gay. He contacted police and they charged the 21-year-old Bundamba man with assault occasioning bodily harm.

The tattoo victim now faces the pain and expense of having the tattoo removed with a laser.

Police allege the tattooing followed a disagreement between the pair that culminated with the Bundamba man taking offence at something the victim said.

Ipswich CIB Detective Constable Paul Malcolm said the victim was extremely upset.

“Apparently he went round to the other bloke’s house and somehow in the course of the conversation the subject of tattoos came up,” Const Malcolm said.

“The victim wasn’t interested at first but he was talked into it and he said he wanted a Yin and Yang symbol with some dragons.

“He rolled him on to his stomach and the bloke started doing the tattoo and there was another bloke standing there watching saying, ‘Mate, it’s looking really good’.

“He was told not to go out into the sun and not to show anyone for a few weeks.

“When he got home he showed it to the person he lives with and she said: ‘I don’t think it’s the tattoo you were after’.”

To add insult to injury, he was allegedly punched and thrown out of the Bundamba man’s house after he was tattooed.

The 21-year-old is scheduled to appear in Ipswich Magistrates Court on November 15.

He was charged with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one charge relating to the Public Safety Act.

Gatton tattoo artist Ted Saddo said the tattooed man could face a bill from $600 to $2000 to have the tattooed removed.

“If they don’t want the tattoo or another tattoo to cover it up, it would have to be lasered,” Mr Saddo said. “That involves shooting a laser beam into the tattoo to break up the ink, which goes into the blood stream and is passed out through the kidneys.

“If it’s just an outline it would probably take three sessions of about $200 a session. There needs to be a six to eight week break between sessions to give the skin the chance to heal. We just had a bloke here who got a tribal tattoo removed and it cost him $2000.”

Saudi Arabia rejects Pakistani diplomat because of his name

Owing to an unfortunate matter of translation, Pakistani diplomat Akbar Zeb will not become the next Pakistani ambassador to Saudi Arabia.

Mr Zeb's credentials are impressive: he is the former envoy to the United States, India, South Africa and Canada. But despite his impressive career, his name proved to be an immovable hurdle.

When translated into Arabic, it means "Large penis".

In a region that stresses modesty in public, this could not stand.

Akbar is a customary Muslim name meaning "great", and while Zeb is not an uncommon Pakistani name, in Arabic it is a slang reference to the penis and never used in polite conversation.

Obviously the diplomat's Arab hosts felt that references to "His Excellency the Big Dick" would not go over well.

A Saudi cultural critic said, "The media wouldn't dare to publish a name like this. So every time he would be in the media they would have to face the name issue, and it would make it difficult to work with him.

That would be an embarrassment for Pakistan."
Said an analyst, "You cannot just pronounce that name. It's too awkward.
How would he be announced at events? How would he be written about?"

According to the Arab Times, this is the third instance of an Arabic-speaking country refusing Mr. Zeb's ambassadorship David Kenner of Foreign Policy magazine wrote that the issue was a source of embarrassment for Pakistan. "One can only assume that submitting Zeb's name to Arabic-speaking countries is some unique form of punishment designed by the Pakistani Foreign Ministry," he wrote, "Or the result of a particularly egregious cock- up."