A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag.'
'Oh, really? Darn!' said the little old lady. 'I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me.'
'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that money? 'You didn't steal it, did you?'
'Oh, no', said the little old lady. 'You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks this thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'.'
'Well, that seems only fair' laughs the cop. 'OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?'
'Well, you know', said the little old lady, 'not everybody pays'.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
The Louise Brown Birthday
A quarter-century on, and the clamour surrounding "test tube baby" Louise Brown has barely died down. It is hard to imagine how it must feel for your whole public image to have been shaped by the manner of your conception. The pioneering achievements of Steptoe and Edwards have pursued Louise relentlessly, the press interest hardly slackening for a moment.
On the 25th anniversary, Louise is doing her bit for the fertility "community", guest starring at a grand party at Bourn Hall clinic for hundreds of babies who followed in her footsteps. She remains proud to have been the first of well over a million worldwide.
However, the number of interviewers she is prepared to put up with is dropping. These days Louise is working as a postal worker in the Bristol area, an occupation lending itself to puns about "deliveries" - just as her previous job as a nursery nurse proved useful to writers and reporters. She had, at last reports, a fiance and a place of her own. Previous interviews have revealed a liking for swimming, the pub and even darts, and indeed, coupled with a general zest for life.
Every child is told he or she is special, and Louise was four before her parents told her exactly why that was true in her case.
She was shown the famous video taken in the operating theatre at Oldham General Hospital in 1978 as she took her first breaths. Her fame led to a barrage of questions from schoolmates, each of whom needed to be told that she was not actually born in the laboratory.
To her, there were a few extra "uncles" who remained precious both to her and her parents. Patrick Steptoe and Robert Edwards kept a close interest in her progress, and the Browns still visit Professor Edwards at his home near Cambridge.
Louise Brown, however, has ended up as the perfect advert for IVF in the face of critics and sceptics - a picture of health and level-headed normality.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
I Come From A Land Of A Billion Sparks
Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program 2008
© Chetan Bhagat
Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about.
I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.
Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.
I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?
Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.
To nurture, ALWAYS HAVE GOALS. It is human nature to strive, improve and ACHIEVE FULL POTENTIAL. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house. Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday?
They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important. Nature designed a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you happy?
Goals will help you do that.
I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school. Where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.
One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
I've told you three things till now- reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark.
However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.
1.Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but what did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge.
2.Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts , having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign that somewhere you took it too seriously.
3.Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty darn lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.
4.Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.
There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.
I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, you eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.
© Chetan Bhagat
Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about.
I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.
Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.
I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?
Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.
To nurture, ALWAYS HAVE GOALS. It is human nature to strive, improve and ACHIEVE FULL POTENTIAL. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house. Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday?
They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important. Nature designed a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you happy?
Goals will help you do that.
I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school. Where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.
One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
I've told you three things till now- reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark.
However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.
1.Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but what did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge.
2.Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts , having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign that somewhere you took it too seriously.
3.Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty darn lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.
4.Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.
There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.
I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, you eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
No IVF please, we're British
An overwhelming majority of infertility patients in the UK said they would contemplate travelling abroad for fertility treatment, according to the first comprehensive study on the strength and motivations behind the fertility tourism industry. Among the 339 infertile patients who responded to an online poll conducted by Infertility Network UK, 76 per cent stated they would be willing to seek fertility treatment outside the UK with 70 per cent citing their reasons would be to avoid higher costs and long wait-lists at UK clinics. Infertility Network UK performed the survey for this year’s National Infertility Day on Saturday, 19 July 2008, when it announced its findings at a conference in central London.
Other popular reasons provided by the patients for why they might prefer to receive fertility treatment abroad were high success rates (61 per cent) and the greater availability of donor eggs and sperm (54 per cent). The UK has suffered a decline in the number of egg and sperm donors since removing donor anonymity by law in 2005. The 24 per cent opposed to treatment in overseas clinics were commonly concerned about lower standards, lack of regulation and language-barrier difficulties.
Clare Brown, Chief Executive of Infertility Network UK, blames the current ‘appalling’ difficulties - such as ‘postcode lottery’ arbitrary provision - that infertile couples face in Britain in order to access fertility assistance: ‘If the NHS funded three full cycles of treatment as recommended by NICE, many couples would not be forced to consider going abroad for treatment’, she said. She warned that regulations can be totally different for foreign fertility clinics and it is ‘absolutely vital’ for individuals to do ‘thorough research beforehand’.
Yet the study revealed an 88 per cent level of satisfaction from those who received treatment abroad, reportedly not only due to lower costs, shorter waiting-lists and successful pregnancy rates but also due to general staff attitude, atmosphere and state of the facilities. Clare Brown added that she hopes ‘that clinics in the UK take into account the findings of this survey and learn from the good experiences many couples have had at clinics abroad’.
Among those who were dissatisfied, 47 per cent experienced problems due to language and communication difficulties and 37 per cent due to unregulated practice. Prime Minister Gordon Brown stated, ‘The Government is working directly with Infertility Network UK, as well as experts in the NHS to ensure the needs of people with fertility problems are recognised and addressed’.
This Friday, 25 July, marks the birthday of Louise Brown, who was the world’s first IVF-conceived child born in England. Thirty years onward, roughly 3.5 million IVF-assisted babies have been born worldwide, averaging at least 200,000 annually. However, infertile individuals in the UK are among the least likely in the developed world to receive IVF with one of the lowest annual IVF performance rates in Europe - under 700 per million Britons. In 2005 just 1.6 per cent of total births were assisted pregnancies compared with rates of 3-3.5 per cent in Scandinavia.
A special-focus Economist article attributed the low statistics to the lack of public funding available and the low-priority ascribed to infertility as a medical condition in the UK. Only nine out of the 152 local primary-care trusts provide the three recommended IVF cycles. In 2005, two-thirds of the IVF cycles performed in Britain were privately funded.
Other popular reasons provided by the patients for why they might prefer to receive fertility treatment abroad were high success rates (61 per cent) and the greater availability of donor eggs and sperm (54 per cent). The UK has suffered a decline in the number of egg and sperm donors since removing donor anonymity by law in 2005. The 24 per cent opposed to treatment in overseas clinics were commonly concerned about lower standards, lack of regulation and language-barrier difficulties.
Clare Brown, Chief Executive of Infertility Network UK, blames the current ‘appalling’ difficulties - such as ‘postcode lottery’ arbitrary provision - that infertile couples face in Britain in order to access fertility assistance: ‘If the NHS funded three full cycles of treatment as recommended by NICE, many couples would not be forced to consider going abroad for treatment’, she said. She warned that regulations can be totally different for foreign fertility clinics and it is ‘absolutely vital’ for individuals to do ‘thorough research beforehand’.
Yet the study revealed an 88 per cent level of satisfaction from those who received treatment abroad, reportedly not only due to lower costs, shorter waiting-lists and successful pregnancy rates but also due to general staff attitude, atmosphere and state of the facilities. Clare Brown added that she hopes ‘that clinics in the UK take into account the findings of this survey and learn from the good experiences many couples have had at clinics abroad’.
Among those who were dissatisfied, 47 per cent experienced problems due to language and communication difficulties and 37 per cent due to unregulated practice. Prime Minister Gordon Brown stated, ‘The Government is working directly with Infertility Network UK, as well as experts in the NHS to ensure the needs of people with fertility problems are recognised and addressed’.
This Friday, 25 July, marks the birthday of Louise Brown, who was the world’s first IVF-conceived child born in England. Thirty years onward, roughly 3.5 million IVF-assisted babies have been born worldwide, averaging at least 200,000 annually. However, infertile individuals in the UK are among the least likely in the developed world to receive IVF with one of the lowest annual IVF performance rates in Europe - under 700 per million Britons. In 2005 just 1.6 per cent of total births were assisted pregnancies compared with rates of 3-3.5 per cent in Scandinavia.
A special-focus Economist article attributed the low statistics to the lack of public funding available and the low-priority ascribed to infertility as a medical condition in the UK. Only nine out of the 152 local primary-care trusts provide the three recommended IVF cycles. In 2005, two-thirds of the IVF cycles performed in Britain were privately funded.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)