Have Another ‘Fertilitini’

Once upon a time, a woman's ovaries were her own private affair. Aspiring mothers struggling with fertility issues whispered to their doctors about their travails, took drugs to stimulate their follicles and crossed their fingers. Today, aging eggs and donor sperm are the topic of open conversation on blogs, on Oprah and in movies like "Baby Mama" (storyline: a 37-year-old businesswoman hires a surrogate after being told her chance of getting pregnant is just about nil). Even politicians are in the fertility limelight. Sarah Palin's baby, Trig, was born when she was 44. And the newly appointed New York senator, Kirsten Gillibrand, cast a vote in Congress the day before giving birth to son Henry at age 41 last May.

And yet, despite the outing of the female reproductive system, many young women still don't fully understand the facts about age as a risk factor for infertility. Their Ob-Gyns don't always tell them. And 40-plus Hollywood mothers (some of whom are presumably using donor eggs to get pregnant) and cases like Palin and Gillibrand reassure them. So this week, the American Fertility Association (AFA) is launching "Manicures & Martinis" at the Dashing Diva Nail Salon in Manhattan, the first in a series of one-hour conversations about reproductive health. The event, targeted at women in their 20s and 30s who want to have children someday but aren't ready now, features a leading fertility expert, who'll talk about the reality of the biological clock and other risk factors for infertility. Yes, there'll be martinis—an offering criticized by some health advocates as irresponsible— but there will also be an organic alcohol-free "fertilitini."

Corey Whelan, AFA's director of development, says this is the kind of program she wishes existed when she was trying to get pregnant in her 20s and 30s while suffering from polycystic ovary syndrome. "I wanted to create a program that was soft, that was light and that was non-threatening," says Whelan, now 53 and the mother of 13-year-old twins conceived through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). The goal is to inform women so they can explore their options at an earlier age, she says, and the message is "one of hope, not one of doom and gloom."

To get the word out, AFA is joining the world of social marketing, advertising the event on Web sites like Facebook.com and Meetup.com. Whelan's hope is that women who attend will spread the word to their friends in person and electronically—a girlfriend-to-girlfriend experience, as opposed to some dreaded medical information session that few young women would be inclined to sign up for. "We would not be able to bring this particular demographic into a lecture hall or symposium," she says. "They wouldn't be interested and it wouldn't work."

But will women show up? AFA's Manhattan event is fully booked, with 25 women signed up and more than 30 on a waiting list. The confirmed participants are all single and between the ages of 21 and 34. One woman registered her daughter, her niece and her daughter's best friend, says Whelan, who plans to offer similar events in other venues (cheese shops, billiard halls) across the country in 2009.

Talking to women about age and motherhood is always controversial. No matter how public the topic of reproduction has become, an individual woman's fertility and the choices she makes about when and how to have children remain highly personal. While many women and health-care providers believe that informing women about age as a risk factor is empowering, others say that harping on the topic smacks of paternalism and is unfair to women who are still in search of a partner.

Mother's fury at dead daughter's fiance's plan to have baby with his sister using frozen IVF embryos

When Kay Stanley died in a car crash in Australia, her fiance and family were united in grief.

But a year on, they are at war over alleged plans to create a baby from three embryos she had frozen after becoming pregnant with IVF treatment.

Her mother Gwen Bates is horrified at the idea of having a grandchild in such a way and believes her daughter would never have approved.

She claims Miss Stanley's fiance Brett Vogel has proposed that his sister would act as a surrogate mother for the embryos in an attempt to have a 'miracle' baby.

Her daughter, a former entertainer who had toured Australia with children's show The Tweenies, was ten weeks' pregnant when she died.

Her VW Beetle was hit by a passenger train at a level crossing near Melbourne and shunted more than 200 metres as she drove to her job as a pre-school teacher. Mrs Bates, a nurse from Rotherham, said: 'I was told by Brett's family not to be sad because a miracle was about to take place.

'They told me his sister Sally was going to have one or two of the embryos implanted so that Brett could have my girl's baby.

'This was devastating news and would have an enormous impact on my life. It is also something I believe Kay would be against.'

Mrs Bates has stayed in Australia fighting to bring her daughter's body home after, she said, Miss Stanley was buried there against her wishes.

However, Mr Vogel's family will have no contact with her, so she does not know if the bizarre baby plan has gone ahead.

'It was Sally's partner who told me that it had been discussed by the family,' added Mrs Bates. 'I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was a bombshell and I found it weird.

'Brett admitted there were three embryos still frozen from the IVF treatment Kay had been having.

'But when I tried to bring up the claims that his sister would act as a surrogate, he blanked me.

'Since the funeral Brett has been all over the world but has returned to Australia. I almost bumped into him in a cafe but he got up and walked straight out. He crossed the street when I saw him on another occasion.'

Kay Stanley died in an accident in Australia. Her mother is now fighting to bring her body back and prevent her fiance from using her frozen embryos

Mrs Bates has sought legal advice after receiving a letter from Mr Vogel's solicitors demanding she has no contact with him.

'I am trying to find out how I stand legally,' she said. 'I will take action if need be. I have a right to know.

'This will be my daughter's child and I will become a grandmother. All I have left are a few pieces of her jewellery and some candles.

'I want to bring my daughter home and have her buried in Rotherham and I will not leave without her. We come home together or we stay together here. I want to be with her.'

She is considering legal proceedings to gain ownership of her daughter's body to establish the status of the embryos.

An inquest has yet to be held. But it has been suggested Miss Stanley may not have seen the crossing warning lights because of bright sunshine.

Her mother said: 'They are using Kay as a scapegoat. They started to put the barriers up after her death but if they knew it was dangerous, something should have been done.

'The police asked if she was happy, suggesting that she may have done it deliberately. I told them she had just had IVF treatment and was about to get married. There was no one more careful than Kay.'

Mr Vogel, who was Miss Stanley's partner for four years, has declined to comment.

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Grandad donates sperm for 'grandchild'

A 72-year-old British man is to donate his sperm to his daughter-in-law, allowing her to become a mother and produce a "grandchild", fertility authorities said.

The unnamed man is donating his sperm because his son and daughter-in-law's attempts at IVF treatment failed due to the poor quality of the husband's sperm, according to London's Evening Standard newspaper.

"It's not uncommon for someone in the family to donate, although normally the age limit for sperm donors is 45," said a spokesperson for Britain's Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, which has advised the clinic overseeing the 72-year-old's donation.

"What's uncommon in this case is the donor's age."

The donated sperm is being handled by the London Women's Clinic, where the couple are having treatment.

Dr Peter Bowen-Simkins, a director of the clinic, told the Evening Standard the couple and the grandparents-to-be had undergone counselling to prepare them for the arrival of a child produced in such an unusual way.

"I've certainly never come across a case like this before," Bowen-Simkins told the paper.

"In this case, keeping the genetic identity of the child similar to their own was a huge factor. The husband does not have a brother which is why he chose his own father to assist."

Experts said they had no ethical problems with the man donating his sperm, but did have medical concerns about the health of the child.

"What worries me are the genetic risks to the child because of the quality of the donor's sperm, given his age," said Dr Alan Pacey, a senior lecturer in andrology (male fertility) at Sheffield University.

Pacey said the man's age could reduce the chances of the donation working, increase the chances of the woman having a miscarriage and also increase the likelihood that the child produced inherits a genetic condition, such as autism, Down's Syndrome or dwarfism.

The dangers of being an older dad

Women with older partners may be at higher risk of suffering miscarriages irrespective of their own age, according to a study that has linked the increased chance of a failed pregnancy with men over the age of 40.

Until now it was widely assumed that miscarriage rates largely increased with female age only, but a study into women undergoing artificial insemination with their partner's sperm has found that it can also be linked with older men. Scientists also found that pregnancy rates fell as the male partner gets older. This may reflect a decline in sperm quality in men over 40 that affects both the chances of conception and the increased risk of a miscarriage, they said. It is the first time scientists have discovered such a strong paternal effect on rates of pregnancy and miscarriage, and they suggest that, in future, fertility clinics should look more closely at the age of men as well as the age of women when advising on treatment.

Stephanie Belloc, of the Eylau Centre for Assisted Reproduction in Paris, said: "Until now … the message was to get pregnant before the age of 35 or 38 because afterwards it would be difficult. But now the gynaecologists must also focus on paternal age and give this information to the couple.

'Fertility clinics should look more closely at the age of men' "We suggest that there is a link between paternal age and DNA decay in the spermatozoa because we previously demonstrated that age is associated with increased sperm DNA fragmentation. So maybe there is a link between paternal age and DNA decay that are implied in the miscarriages.

"I think it's important to consider not only the woman, but both members of the couple in natural conception, but also in assisted reproductive technology [such as artificial insemination and IVF]."

The scientists analysed data gathered at a fertility clinic that performs artificial inseminations directly into a woman's uterus, a technique which improves the conception rate.

They followed up 21,239 cases of these intrauterine inseminations to see whether the age of the man or the woman had any significant effect on the chances of conception and miscarriage.

As expected, they found maternal age was a strong factor in pregnancy rates, with just 8.9 percent of women over the age of 35 getting pregnant, compared with 14.5 percent in younger women.

'We also found that the age of the father was important in pregnancy rates' "But we also found that the age of the father was important in pregnancy rates - men over 35 had a negative effect," said Belloc.

"And, perhaps more surprisingly, miscarriage rates increased where the father was over 35."

The study - the results of which were to be released at the European Society for Human Reproduction and Embryology in Barcelona - found the miscarriage rate among women with partners aged between 35 and 39 was 18.1 percent, but 33 percent for the partners of men aged between 40 and 44.

Couples undergoing assisted reproductive technology where the man is older than 35 or 40 should consider using the technique of intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI), for directly injecting single sperm into an egg, because then the best sperm could be chosen for fertilisation, Belloc said.

"It's the conclusion of my study that ICSI should be the [technology] of choice when paternal age is increasing because we can choose the best spermatozoa.

"We can choose spermatozoa without DNA fragmentation, and DNA fragmentation is increasing with paternal age. So it is a way to be free of paternal age."

Older dads

TV presenter Des O'Connor's wife, the Australian singer-songwriter Jodie Brooke Wilson (35), gave birth to their son Adam in September 2004. O'Connor, then 72, claimed: "It felt like the right time."

US presidential hopeful John McCain was 48 when he and his wife Cindy had their first child together, the now-award-winning blogger Meghan McCain. They have since had two more.

There were a few sleepless nights at the Playboy mansion in the early 1990s when a sexagenarian Hugh Heffner fathered sons Marston and Cooper by his fiancee Kimberley Conrad.

When Leo Blair was born in 2000, 47-year-old Tony became the first serving prime minister to have a baby in more than 150 years.

Actor David Jason became a dad for the first time aged 61 when his daughter, Sophie Mae, was born.

A 56-year-old Michael Douglas welcomed Dylan Michel into the world in 2000, then married the mother, Catherine Zeta-Jones, soon afterwards. The couple had a daughter three years later.

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