Circumcision

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your
thing doesn't have any skin on it!"


"I've been circumcised."


"What's that mean?"


"It means they cut the skin off the end."


"How old were you when it was cut off?"


"My mom said I was two days old."


"Did it hurt?"


"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!

Pigeons

Ahmed from Pakistan

Ahmed from Pakistan travelled to Belgium.

Shortly after arrival he became very ill.

He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.

Finally, he located a Pakistani doctor who said: 'Take dees bocket, go

into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put

your head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten

minutes.'

Ahmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the

bucket,peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten

minutes..

Coming back to the doctor he said, 'It worked. I feel terrific! What
was wrong with me?'

The doctor said .... 'You were homesick'.

Counselor

Never Sit On Roof of Trains

Gay flamingos are both family men

Carlos and Fernando, male flamingos at the Slimbridge wildfowl reserve in Gloucestershire, are inseparable.

They have been together for more than five years and have even reared foster chicks.

Twice a year they perform the elaborate courtship dance usual to males and females, before building a nest.

Homosexual activity is not unknown within the animal kingdom but few people know about it, according to zoologists. Keepers at Slimbridge said it was unique among their flamingos.

Nigel Jarrett, the reserve’s aviculture manager, said: “They seem very happy. They will probably stay together for the rest of their lives.

“They are not picked on by the other birds. If anything they are afforded more respect because two males together can be a pretty fearsome prospect for the other flamingos.”

The pair have reared three generations of adopted flamingos, by making off with the freshly laid eggs of their heterosexual neighbors.

Mr Jarrett said: “They have been known to fight the heterosexual birds and steal their eggs. There is usually a ‘handbags-at-10 yards’ moment where they scrap with the couple before stealing the egg.

“They are very good parents though and behave just as the heterosexual birds do when rearing their young.”

The pair are Greater Flamingos, native to the Mediterranean and Africa, and live on algae and small fish.

As well as male flamingos that mate, there are male ostriches that only court their own gender. Film-makers recently caught female Japanese macaque monkeys engaged in intimate acts.

Male penguins have been known to pair up and engage in sexual activity, while ignoring potential female mates.

Adrian Walls, a bird keeper at London Zoo, said: “Homosexual behaviour is often seen amongst birds in captivity, but it is not often long-lived. If they go a long time without chicks, they often search out a different sex partner.”

Involuntary Muscular Contractions

A professor at the University of Sydney ,,,was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said,

'Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied:

'Probably drinking beer with his mates.'

It took 20 minutes to restore order in the classroom.........