Little wonder from India

A teenager from India who stands at a tiny 1ft 11in (58cm) tall is the smallest girl in the world. Jyoti Amge, 14, is shorter than the average two-year-old child and only weighs 11lb (5kg). Jyoti is smaller than the average two-year-old child. She has a form of dwarfism called achondroplasia and won't grow any taller than her current height. Due to her size, Jyoti has to have clothes and jewellery made for her. She sleeps in a tiny bed and uses special plates and cutlery to eat, as normal-sized utensils are too big. Despite this, she goes to a regular school in Nagpur, central India, where she has her own small desk and chair, and her classmates treat her like any other student.
Jyoti also shares common interests with other teenagers, with a love for DVDs and fashionable dresses. She said: 'I am proud of being small. I love all the attention I get. I'm not scared of being small and I don't regret it. 'I'm just the same as other people. I eat like you, dream like you. I don't feel any different.' Jyoti is treated like a mini-celebrity in her home town, where people flock to meet her and some even treat her like a goddess. She will even be releasing an album with her favourite Indian pop star, the bhangra/rap star Mika Singh.
Her mum, Ranjana Amge, 45, said: 'When Jyoti was born, she seemed quite normal. We came to know about her disorder when she was five. 'We consulted a specialist and he said she will be this size all of her life. Jyoti is small, yet cute, and we love her very much.' Jyoti is ambitious and hopes to work as a Bollywood actress one day. She said: 'I would love to work in a big city like Mumbai, act in films and travel to London and America.
Jyoti chats to her friends on her phone, just like any other teenager . 'I'm proud of being small. I love all the attention I get because of it.' Her dad, Kishanji Amge, 52, said: 'I can't separate myself from her even for a single day. I love her very much.
'She makes me proud. Lots of gurus come to see and bless her. They pray for her happiness and long life.'

Salaam Bombay!

-Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
-There is no darkness in Andheri.
-Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
-No King ever stayed at King's Circle .
-Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
-Nor is there any Princess at Princess Street .
-Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
-There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
-The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
-There are no pigs traded at Dukkar bazaar.
-Teen batti is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
-Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar TT.).
-Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but famous for a Hospital.
-Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
-You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street.
-There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
-There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.
-Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
-Null bazaar does not sell taps.
-You will not find ladyfingers at Bhendi Bazaar.
-Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
-Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
-Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
-Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi.
-Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,
-Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi.
-But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!
-AMCHI MUMBAI
-A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible .

-Where telephone bills make a person ill,
-Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.
-Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
-Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,
-Where college canteens are full and classes empty,
-Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,
-Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
-Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,
-Where sky scrapers overlook the slum,
-Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,
-Where people first act and then think,
-Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
-Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
-Where the beggars become rich soon,
-Where the roads are leveled when the minister arrives,
-Where college admission means hard cash,
-Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.
-This is Mumbai my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

THINGS TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE
1. You say 'town ' and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.
3. Your door has more than three locks.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
5. Train timings ( 9.27 , 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
8.. You're paying Rs 10,000,00 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a 'steal.'
9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay. (REALLY TRUE!)
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road ....
11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately.
12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the 'Bombay Times' supplement.
13. You take fashion seriously.
14.You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you-Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
16. You compare Bombay to New York 's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
22. Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken

Salaam Bombay!!

-Anonymous Mumbaite

Breaking News

Click http://www.rbmonline.com/Article/3145 to go straight to the abstract. Rotunda has just published its latest work in RBM online!
Cheers!!

Weight Watcher

Blond Genes

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handywoman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.


She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.


"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"


The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would
need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"


He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all
those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.


"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats."


Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it
to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus".

Ice, ice, baby!

A couple from Stockport, Greater Manchester, have conceived a second baby using sperm frozen 19 years ago. Emmanuel and Zoe Iyoha are expecting their second child after receiving IVF treatment using sperm preserved on Mr Iyoha's behalf in 1989.
Mr Iyoha was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and a tumour on his spleen when he was 27 years old. Staff at the Christie Hospital in Manchester warned him that the chemotherapy would leave him infertile and encouraged him to have his sperm frozen so that he would have the option of having children after he recovered. Mr Iyoha expressed his gratitude,
saying: 'it was the Christie nurses who persuaded me it was something that I should do and I will be forever grateful to them for this miracle. They must have seen within me the father-in-waiting. At the time, I was far more preoccupied with the cancer'.
Mr Iyoha, a computer expert for the NHS, has had a long battle with his cancer, but is now in remission after suffering a relapse in 1995. He married Zoe, a teacher, in 2002 and the newly-wed couple were only able to consider having children together thanks to the sperm stored at St Mary's Hospital in Manchester. 'We're certainly pretty unlikely to have an unplanned pregnancy after two bouts of chemotherapy' commented My Iyoha.
Freezing sperm is the only chance many men who face chemotherapy at a young age have of preserving their fertility. Unfortunately, however, the technique does not always work, as the sperm may be left too damaged by the freezing and thawing process for IVF to be successful. It took Mr and Mrs Iyoha 12 rounds of IVF treatment including, sadly, one miscarriage before their first child, Poppy Rose, was born in 2006. Remarkably, they have conceived their second child, which is due in July, after just four rounds of IVF.
Mr Iyoha said: 'every time I think about how long it has been since my sperm was frozen I am amazed at the power of science'. He added: 'we owe it all to science and the wonderful care and support of the staff at Christie's and St. Mary's'. In 2004, doctors at St Mary's hospital reported the birth of baby conceived using sperm that had been frozen for 21 years, believed to
be the longest reported storage period for sperm successfully used for treatment.

'Internet sperm' founder jailed

John Gonzalez, the founding director of a controversial UK-based online company - 'ManNotIncluded.com', which delivered fresh sperm to women for DIY-insemination - was sentenced last week at the Wood Green Crown Court in London to sixteen months incarceration for five counts of fraudulent activities. Judge Juliet May QC said that he had 'siphoned off thousands of
pounds' in a 'sustained course of fraudulent conduct' and banned him from being a company director for five years.
The Department of Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform (BERR) led the investigation, which uncovered shocking business practices - including one client receiving sperm in a dirty coffee canister, while two former employees describe how women were given sperm from donors with completely different characteristics than requested. Gonzalez was successfully
prosecuted for lying to officials, forging documents and falsifying debts to evade relinquishing assets to creditors while illegally embezzling those funds to support an opulent lifestyle. Ultimately, he pleaded guilty to two counts of fraudulent trading, one count of financial misconduct, one count of forgery and one count of perjury.
Gonzalez launched the online business June 2002 amidst stormy criticism, claiming the website was the world's first to courier fresh sperm and insemination equipment directly to lesbian, single and medically infertile couples who paid to register on the site, charging up to £7,000 for delivery. Some critics viewed the service as a threat to the family unit and dubbed the site 'morals not included'.
Gonzalez's service illustrated a loophole in current UK regulation, which governs frozen gamete storage and use, but not 'fresh' sperm. Medical practitioners and government authorities warned that this kind of service poses a potential threat to women's and the resulting child's health because the fresh sperm is not screened for any diseases. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology 1990 Act requires sperm donations to be quarantined for up to 180 days for testing. Some infections such as HIV may take up to three months to incubate, meaning that an HIV test at the time of the donation may not detect the virus even though the donor might be carrying it.
The service also presented potential legal complications. Under UK law, donors whose sperm is obtained through HFEA licensed clinics are not the legal parents of any resulting offspring. However, the legal position on the parentage of children born via sperm donated outside of HFEA license is unclear.
Gonzalez maintains that ManNotIncluded.com boasted 20 pregnancies and more than 5,000 customers. In December 2004, Gonzalez illegally liquidated the company with debt totalling over £220,000 and then continued to trade under a slightly different name. Meanwhile, he embezzled £185,000 from these company accounts.