Hello... am I speaking with India??

These answers are the actual responses to the questions on a Indie-Travel website posted by those who are planning a visit to India.


Q:Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow?(someone from UK ).
A:We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q:Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A:Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Delhi to Goa - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A:Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India ? ( Sweden )
A:So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q:Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India ? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi , Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore ? ( UK )
A:What did your last slave die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India ? ( USA )
A:A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa.Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )
A:Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q:Can I bring cutlery into India ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q:Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? ( France )
A:Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q:Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )
A:You're a British politician, right?

Q:Are there supermarkets in Bangalore , and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A:No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A:Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. Most Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q:Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )
A:No, actually we don't stink.

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India ?(USA )
A:Anywhere ...where a significant numbers of Americans like you gather.

Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? ( France )
A:Only at Christmas.

Q:Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A:Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Q:Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? ( Italy )
A:As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

Q:Do you have Toilet paper? ( USA )
A:No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)

A Beautiful Dawn in Lavasa

What can I say, everyday I greet you with a cool smile but you seldom notice. I am taken for granted by billions and only appreciated by a few. Every morning I look forward to greeting you looking my best but you never notice. Past generations greeted me with a smile and took the time to appreciate my beauty. In some cultures the first born was named in my honor. Those were much simpler times. Today you are in such a hurry that I feel I am a nuisance and not a blessing as you rinse the dew I left on your car. As I arrive every morning millions of animals greet me with song and playfulness but you, don’t even take the time to appreciate them. I guess it is true what you say time is money, but money can never buy what you miss every morning. A song has recently written about me and I hope it will help you understand what I have been trying to say. The song goes like this:

James Blunt - High

Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me.
There is nothing else in the world,
I’d rather wake up and see (with you).
Beautiful dawn - I’m just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.
But now I’m high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe you remember me.
Beautiful dawn - melt with the stars again.
Do you remember the day when my journey began?
Will you remember the end (of time)?
Beautiful dawn - You’re just blowing my mind again.
Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine.
High; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe you remember me.

Will you be my shoulder when I’m grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe you remember me.


Here I am trapped between these two concrete walls and plated glass. Forced to serve my time away from everything I love. I had promised my kids the vacation to Disney & Universal in California & am boarding the flight in a few minutes. I will miss Lavasa for three weeks now! Anyways the last week in Mexico is dedicated to the "Sergio Bustamante" store at Lavasa due to open coming Diwali.

How often did I really think about nature? Not often! I had never really stopped or slowed down my life to think about the great and beautiful things nature has to offer. That is until I started visiting Lavasa regularly. It is now that I have come to realize the wonderful things nature in Lavasa has offered me and I have never, like they say….stopped to smell the roses! I had always been too busy with my job and life itself that I had forgotten to take a moment to embrace nature; today I miss my Lavabahn cruising as I exit my country.



The water body beautifies the hill station and everything around it. The trees make it so inviting and I remember thinking….I’m coming back here and just relax and enjoy the view. Of course, I will now not have the chance to go back for 3 weeks!!! Why don’t we appreciate nature and take advantage of what it provides us. Natural beauty is found all around. The trees seem to call out to us and invite us to take a break from our daily lives and just relax and read a book under them. They provide the shade and protection that we so much need in hot sunny days, as well as in shady, cloudy ones. Sitting on the green, crispy grass under my favorite tree near Ekaant makes me feel I can open my arms to the clear, blue sky. I can actually breathe and slow down to really observe my surroundings. The water makes the area so tranquil and soothing. The sound of the water is music to my ears. The sunlight on the Warasgaon Lake creates illusions of wonderful shapes in many different colors yet to be named.





I can see fish swimming slowly in the water and disappear in its depth. I can hear the chirping of the birds and the sound of branches as they play happily on the trees. It’s almost as watching children running joyfully. I can smell the pureness of the air and fill my lungs with the ecstatic energy that only nature can provide. Time seems to stand still as I sit here and enjoy the natural beauty of the environment. I wish I did not have to leave this enchanted place. I envy the ants that are free to come and go everywhere they want; the birds that fly all over the sky and yet always come back and the fish that live in the waterbody and know all its treasures and its most precious secrets. Daily life struggles seem to fade away and I feel empowered to conquer anything…anything at all! How wonderful is this feeling of peace, courage and happiness and to think that nature is found everywhere. Only three hours from Mumbai!

Best Human Embryos Selected For IVF Using Mathematical Model

From the images taken with the microscope, the scientists were able to measure and classify the zygotes and embryos, as well as the blastomeres (undifferentiated animal cells produced by the division of the zygote), their degree of fragmentation and the thickness of the ‘zona pellucida', a membrane that surrounds them. (Credit: Morales et al / SINC)

A team of researchers from the University of the Basque Country (UPV-EHU) have developed a mathematical classification which makes it possible to select human embryos for use in assisted reproduction treatments. Scientists have used the morphology of embryos to select the best candidates for implantation in the woman's uterus.

"Up to now experts working in in vitro fertilisation have selected the best embryos subjectively, based on their training and experience", so SINC was informed by Dinora A. Morales, from the Intelligent Systems Group at the UPV-EHU. However, in two studies carried out by researchers from this team the use of mathematical classifiers to help embryologists with that task was looked at.

In the first work, published in the journal Computer Methods and Programs in Biomedicine, the scientists presented an "intelligent system" of support for infertility treatments. For this they used information from 63 cases from the infertility programme at Clínica del Pilar in San Sebastian (Guipúzcoa), and analysed the evolution of trios of embryos (Spanish law allows for the transfer of up to three embryos to a woman's uterus).

To prepare the study, the researchers focused on the case history of infertile couples (age, type of infertility, quality of sperm, etc), as well as the morphological characteristics of the zygote (the resulting cell from the fusion of two gametes) and the embryos.

From the images taken with the microscope, the scientists were able to measure and classify the zygotes and embryos, as well as the blastomeres (undifferentiated animal cells produced by the division of the zygote), their degree of fragmentation and the thickness of the ‘zona pellucida', a membrane that surrounds them.

All this information was processed with Bayesian classifiers, so-called due to the application of Bayes rules, which make it possible to calculate the probability of implanting an embryo in a woman's uterus if transferred there. "What's more, these types of mathematical classifiers provide experts with evidence on what embryo characteristics enable the identification of the most ideal embryos, through the selection of variables", explained Morales.

The results of this study indicate that the size and degree of fragmentation of the blastomeres, thickness of the zona pellucida and the fact that they might have various nuclei are some of the aspects embryologists should concentrate on.

The Basque research group also carried out a second study, published in the journal Computers in Biology and Medicine to check the effectiveness of different Bayesian classifiers as a tool for choosing the best embryo.

The researchers analysed 249 photographs of embryos from the database at the Genesis Centre in Rome (Italy) and discovered that the "wrapper-TAN" classifier had a success rate of over 90%.

The team's next lines of work will concentrate on perfecting these techniques for selecting the best embryo in infertility treatments and in predicting multiple pregnancies, due to the risk they pose to women. The scientists will try to collaborate with other hospitals in this task.

Hotelicopter

Since 2004, the company behind the Hotelicopter has been working to modify a Soviet-made Mil V-12 into two world firsts: the "world's biggest helicopter" and the "world's first flying hotel."

As you might have guessed, the experience on board the Hotelicopter is far from your standard Motel 6. This gigantic flying Titanic machine features everything you would expect from a 5-star hotel—from private entertainment systems and room service to extras like spa treatments, yoga classes, gaming and a tea garden.

If you were wondering just how big and powerful this flying hotel really is, check out the specs:

* Dimensions Length: 42 m (137 ft)
* Height: 14m (45 ft)
* Maximum Takeoff Weight: 105850 kg (232,870 lb)
* Maximum speed: 255 km/h (137 kt) (158 miles/h)
* Cruising speed: 237 km/h (127 kt) (147 miles/h)
* Original Mi Range: 515 km (320 mi)
* Our augmented Mi Range - 1,030 km (640 mi)

The inaugural flight is set to take place on June 26th for an undisclosed price. Obviously, only the affluent need apply—but anyone that is interested can head on over to the Hotelicopter website to get more info about setting up a reservation.Experience the adrenaline rush of taking off and flying high in the largest helicopter ever produced.

The Hotelicopter features 18 luxuriously-appointed rooms for adrenaline junkies seeking a truly unique and memorable travel experience.

Each soundproofed room is equipped with a queen-sized bed, fine linens, a mini-bar, coffee machine, wireless internet access, and all the luxurious appointments you’d expect from a flying five star hotel. Room service is available one hour after liftoff and prior to landing.

Interested in learning more? Become a fan on Facebook or follow it on Twitter to receive their complete welcome kit and to be notified when their reservation system becomes open to the public.

The Presidential Address - 75th Platinum Jubilee Year of the MOGS

Ouch

Driving at 225kms in his BMW Z4 the Driver hit a Kangaroo..
The kangaroo disappeared!
The driver stopped and wondered where did the kangaroo go?



Scroll down to see what he found......



















For all you drivers without bullbars, this is how you pack a 70 kg kangaroo into a BMW Z4 convertible. ...

President - the Mumbai Obstetric & Gynecological Society 2009-10

It is the best of times, it is the worst of times.The best because our chosen profession has and is progressing by leaps and bounds and leading the medical world into new fields of research, therapy and hope.Assisted reproduction today is a highly advanced field and practitioners are doing what no one believed was possible.We provided the embryos and the cord blood from where stem cell research took off and is poised to make breakthroughs in irreparable nerve cell or cardiac cell damage, manage cancer, diabetes and liver cell failure.We are at the forefront of the medical world in endoscopy. Surgeons from other specialties to suit themselves, modified procedures and instruments devised by brilliant gynecologists. We are still eons ahead of them. Today there is no pathology that master endoscopists cannot treat laparoscopically.
It was a gynecologist Ian Donald who first thought to use sound waves to make images of the unborn child. Today we can diagnose and treat an ailing fetus in its mother’s womb by blood transfusion or draining an over distended bladder. As the world ages, we are still there at the next frontier with our meshes and tapes that repair aging muscle, keeping a woman continent and giving her a new life. We have a variety of options in medications for the older woman to keep her bones strong and her skin tough.
That we care deeply for our patients is obvious from the fact that we are among the few surgeons who make the effort of doing a surgery through a pfannensteil or bikini cut incision and painstakingly close it so that the scar does not show. Here too we are busy trying out tummy tucks with hysterectomies or even cesarean sections. It is a matter of pride that all these latest technologies are available in our country and its medical capital, this city of Mumbai. Impossible is nothing!


The story of my Presidential year 2009-10 began almost 5 years ago and started with me searching for the promised land that will bring our post-graduates closer to academics, research & newer technologies. These are difficult times with the world at war, terrorism threatening our planet, our country, our beloved city and our way of life. We cannot even hold our cricket matches in our own country. A severe economic recession grips the world and threatens our medical tourism and outsourcing industries. However there is hope as a young new president takes charge of world’s most powerful nation and speaks of change. And the youngest thus far president takes charge of the Mumbai Obstetric and Gynecological society in its 75th year and also promises that this year will be different. This will be an Indo-Israeli year. My reasons for choosing the Israelis to partner us this year, is that we have many cultural and social similarities. We both built our nations from scratch; we value education and hard work. We are quick to adapt to a new methodologies and we thirst for success and recognition.

Israel is a first world country doing cutting edge research in infertility and fetal medicine and genetics and has well established protocols and procedures in endoscopy and oncology. She has graciously agreed to help her developing sister country by sending her leading doctors who will share their knowledge and expertise. Since both countries became independent, this is the first scientific collaboration for an entire year between Professional Societies. Not one, but 7 Israeli Medical Organizations have thrown their weight behind the Mumbai Obstetric & Gynecological Society (MOGS) this year! Israel is sending us 14 world leaders in their respective disciplines. Our theme for MOGS this year is: "Technology Saves Lives. Let us learn from the best". This is what the Indo-Israeli collaboration translates to. Let us also extend this generosity to our fellow gynecologists from other towns and cities who can attend all our academic programs this year. Information about our scientific sessions will be sent all over the country- so we expect a lot of new faces in town this year.


To all of you fellow gynecologists I say be the change. Lets not have any negativity this year but contribute enthusiastically as if each one of you were the president of the MOGS and organize innovative, interesting and useful sessions for us as part of our outreach programmes. We are taking the good work started by my predecessors forward. Why partner with Israel? India, the world's biggest democracy, and Israel, one of the tiniest democracies, surprisingly have much in common. Both are the cradle to the world's most dominant religions. Thus, for over 5000 years they have sprouted the foundations of human culture as we know it today. Both these countries have many sites which are considered the holiest to the largest number of followers all over the globe.Given India's strong scientific and technological base, Israel is keen on strengthening professional medical ties with India. The Indo-Israeli Year presents an exciting new means to help physicians from India and Israel to establish a vibrant partnership. This is going to be one of the first official academic collaborations between the two countries ever since they both achieved independence over 60 years ago. We are all looking forward towards an unprecedented opportunity of first-hand exchange of knowledge and experience that can forward our mutual goal of extending the best health care to all women.

At this time, I would like to publicly acknowledge the support system at home. Despite me being me, all I got at home was solid support & love. Thank You Swati, Akanksha, Ranveer, Daddy, Titoo, Siddharth.They say a man’s upbringing starts a hundred years before his birth. We Hindus believe our good luck now is the result of past life karma. Someone up there must like me to have blessed me with superb teachers who shaped me as a gynecologist and fertility physician and as a man.My heartfelt respect and gratitude to Dr Snehalata Deshmukh, Dr Pratibha Vaidya, Dr Geetha Niyogi, Dr Vivek Patkar, Dr Sushila Saraf, Dr PB PaiDhungat, Dr Satish Tibrewala, Dr Shashank Parulekar, Prof. O Djahanbakhch & Dr Sadhana Desai. I could not have taken on this responsibility were it it not for my capable team from Rotunda & Deccan, Kaushal, Goral, Sulbha and Anjali who have been my backbone. No man is an island though people often accuse me of being a loner. I would not be where I am today without the help, support and guidance of my dear friends – This year would not have been in its present form without the support of Dr Daniel Seidman & all my other friends.


It is just once in your life that you meet someone who can change the way you look at the world. Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. I have never in my life met a person who has so influenced me with his vision, intelligence & philanthropy. Mr Ajit Gulabchand is Chairman and Managing Director of HCC - one of India’s leading construction companies and has been a catalytic factor in the infrastructure growth of India including our own Bandra-Worli sealink & Lavasa – Free India’s largest hill station spread across 12,500 acres, set amidst 7 hills and 60 kms of lakefront. Corporate Social Responsibility remains intrinsic to Mr Gulabchand’s vision for the group encompassing HIV, Education, Water, and Disaster Management initiatives. He has recently endowed a new ‘Ajit Gulabchand Chair’ on Indian Business Studies being set up at Oxford University and is a member of the Oxford International Advisory Board for Executive Education. Upon my request, he has agreed to bequeath a grand sum of Rs ten lakhs to MOGS to set up an overseas training fellowship for a young MOGS member gynecologist in memory of his mother Late Dr Shantabai Gulabchand, who was an eminent gynecologist practicing in our own city. Being an ace ranker in her college, Dr Shantabai Gulabchand secured an easy admission for MBBS in Grant Medical College of the J J Hospital. She passed the MBBS with flying colors, securing various medals to her credit, such as Viceroy’s silver trophy, Lord Sandhurst’s Gold Medal and even the National Scholarship for Indian lady doctors. After completing internship at Cama Hospital, Mumbai, Shantabai was appointed as Lecturer at Bai Motlibai and Petit Hospital. Mumbai. She believed in studies, and perused whole heartedly by completing her F.R.C.S. (Gynecology) at an early age of 26 in London. After obtaining the F.R.C.S. degree, she returned to Mumbai and started her own clinic in Girgaum, Mumbai. She possessed an entrepreneurial streak right from the beginning of her career and started a company called “Altra Laboratories” that manufactured medicines. In June 1947 she married reputed industrialist Seth Gulabchand Hirachand. She served as Director on the Board of Hindustan Construction Ltd for nearly 31 years.Even in the post independence era, Shantabai was actively involved in politics and was associated with the Swatantra Party. She also deeply believed in women empowerment and education. Thank you Sir for partnering MOGS to help out our own post-graduates & to advance science in our own city.

I would like to dedicate my own Presidential year to the memory of my late mother Dr(Mrs) Sanyogita Allahbadia who strived that her children be given the best education. I am grateful to my parents for having given me a sound education and made me capable enough to be speaking before this very august audience. We will try our best to offer an amalgam of the highest academic standards with the recent advances in the field. I was particularly impressed by one of President Ronald Reagan’s memorable quotes: Aim for the top, pray to God and Hope for the best. That has been my philosophy & it will be our endeavor to strive for excellence in all aspects of this year. We promise you will we will do our best not to let you down.I believe that a true student is never satisfied or content with the knowledge gleaned . And we will all continue to remain students all our life since education is a continuous process. I’m sure we will enrich ourselves with pearls of wisdom that we will pick up from the deliberations of meetings in 2009-10. The great pleasure in life is in doing what people say you cannot do . Let us all make this a memorable year!