The Best Chain Letter Ever

My Powerbook screamed: "You've got Mail!". This was at an unearthly hour in the wee hours of morning.

My teenage daughter had sent me an Email marked "Highest priority". Here is a reproduction of that e-mail:
On 7/2/07, Akanksha Allahbadia <6175189555000972164@mail.orkut.com> wrote:
"IIT Bombay student Anupam Biswas 5th Year Mechanical Engg is suffering from Colukabki (caused due to excessive nabad and depression) a diseasevery rarely found (3 in a billion). His condition is very pathetic and the treatment is very expensive, obviously his parents are not able to afford his treatment. Orkut has agreed to pay 1 paisa after each time this message is forward. So please pass to all ur friends. please i request you to pass it to as many people as u can and lets try to save someone's life. I request please do not ignore this. It will take < 1 min from ur life to help saving someone's life."

I tore my hair out in frustration and searched for one of the nicest and funniest anti chain-letter emails i had received a few years ago. Heres how it goes:

A Mail from a frustrated victim of spams and forwards

• I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2006 & 2007.
Because of your kindness:
• I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
• I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
• I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
• I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that
someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
• I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and the I get a phone bill
from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
• I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
• When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me
then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
• I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000
times. (Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...)
• I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to
send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon.
• My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
• Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle’s property of some hundred
millions $.
• made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Vandanas , Tirupathi Balaji Pics etc.. now most of those
'wishes' are already married:( to someone else)

IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on your head today at 5:30pm.

I now look forward to my teenage son's "highest priority" e-chain-mail:)