Gas

Sreesanth in Dubai

Why Do Some Men Wear Ear-rings?

I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer.

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring, "he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my car."

Popeye's Momma

True Story

Plumber of the Year

The Half Ton Dad

At a massive 73-stone, Kenneth Brumley must lose weight, or die. His daily intake of 30,000 calories is the same as a regular-sized man eats in two weeks.
For four years he's been confined to a bed which buckled under his weight and powerless to move his gigantic legs. Only deliveries of fast food from his partner Serena break the monotony of the day. Because of this weakness for junk food, Kenneth is among two million Americans who are over 40-stone, and classed as super morbidly obese. Kenneth, 40, from Texas, says: "I got into this shape over the last seven years. "They've been the worst of my life.
"It is like I'm a prisoner to myself.
"I just sit here, watch TV and eat.
"That's all I do, every day."
The volume of food Kenneth consumes is truly shocking. He says: "I'd wake up and get chilli cheese fries for breakfast.
"It's basically fast food 24 hours a day, seven days a week
"That and a case of super-strength lager. "At my heaviest I ate three or four cheeseburgers at a time, maybe a half gallon of orange juice or apple juice. "Two litre bottles of soda would last about 30 minutes. "If I feel like Chinese, McDonalds or Mexican, that's what I get." "I don't know if it's an addiction. But once that weight gets on you, it's hard getting it off '
Amazingly, Kenneth, a dad-of-four, used to be a sports fanatic. But his weight problem started at 19, when he temporarily moved to California from Texas. He says: "I was constantly playing basketball, baseball, football. "I ate a lot when I was a child, a whole lot. "But I burnt all that off with the activities I was doing.
"In California the lifestyle wasn't good. "When I got there I didn't know anybody and all the sports I was doing stopped.
"So many times I went to buy new pants and would have to return two weeks later for a bigger size. "I was just picking up the weight unbelievably quickly. "The weight stopped me enjoying life with my kids. I've missed most of their young lives '
Unsurprisingly, Kenneth's had little success with fad diets. But gastric bypass surgery, to reduce the size of his stomach, could be the answer. He says: "I've tried low calorie, low carbs and the Greek food diet.
"I did what exercise I could from my bed, but you lose 20 to 30 pounds, and that's it. "Then you gain it back twice more.
"I'd like to have a gastric bypass because I think that would be a big help and would change my life. "There is no way I'm going to improve like this." After being accepted as a gastric bypass patient at the prestigious Renaissance Hospital in Houston, a fire crew had to hammer down a wall in Kenneth's house to get him out.
As their biggest ever patient, before he could undergo surgery he had 15-stone of fatty tumours cut away from his body. Meanwhile his diet was reduced from 30,000 calories a day to just 1,200. Despite the horrendous effort required to shrink his size, Kenneth remains determined to succeed. He says: "It might take a few months but I'm going to be back on my feet.
"It's been a long time since I had fresh air. "I'm looking forward to being outside.
"The weight also stopped me enjoying life with my kids. "I've missed most of their young lives, so now they're young ladies.
"It won't be long before they're getting married. "I want to be sure I'm walking with them proudly down the aisle."
Must watch my own weight:(