I miss Bill Clinton!

It doesn't matter what party you belong to - this is hilarious.

From a show on Canadian TV, there was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton.

"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.

Number 1 - He played the sax.

Number 2 - He smoked weed.

Number 3 - He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now? Look at him; his wife works, and he doesn't! And,he gets a check from the government every month.

Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' distinguished men - It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water!

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Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.
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When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."
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The Clinton revised judicial oath:

"I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."
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Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes."

Meet the frozen sperm siblings born 15 years after their father was left infertile from cancer

As a family photograph, it is hardly out of the ordinary - two-year-old Mariella hugs her baby brother Herbie.

Yet for parents Ian and Alison Morris, it is a reminder that these are the children they never thought they could have.

Mariella and seven-month-old Herbie were born using Mr Morris's frozen sperm, stored for an astonishing 13 years after cancer treatment left him infertile.

Following his successful battle against the disease, the couple had several unsuccessful attempts at starting a family using IVF and were close to giving up in despair.

But one final try, in February 2007, worked and Mariella was born the following October.

Incredibly, the couple then had a second success last year with Herbie, by which time Mr Morris's sperm had been frozen for 15 years.

Mrs Morris, 37, said: 'I thought I'd never be a mum so to have our two miracle frozen babies really is the most wonderful thing.'

Mr Morris, 49, a design engineer, was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukaemia in March 1994, three years after the couple married.

His wife, a buyer for a television shopping channel, said: 'We were just so shocked. The level of cancer in cells in his body was so high that the doctors said they were amazed he was still standing.'

Fortunately, Mr Morris's brother Barry was the perfect match for a life-saving bone marrow transplant.

Before the treatment, which involved chemotherapy, doctors warned him to have his sperm frozen as he would be left infertile.

After Mr Morris's recovery, the couple, of Grantham, Lincolnshire, decided to try for a family in 2002.

Mrs Morris said: 'We had been really hopeful when we had our first try at IVF as we knew there was nothing wrong with me, and we were using the frozen sperm. So when it didn't work we were devastated.'

A second and third attempt failed before they went to specialist clinic Care Fertility in Nottingham for a last try.

Mrs Morris said: 'We only had two embryos of good enough quality so we knew we didn't have much of a chance. So when I did a pregnancy test and saw the positive blue line, I just couldn't believe my eyes.

'I went for a scan at six weeks... when I saw the tiny heartbeat on the screen I just burst into tears.'

The record for a live birth from frozen sperm is 21 years, in Manchester in 2002.

Higher Resolution

'Ecstatic' Celine Dion pregnant with IVF twins at 42

Singer Celine Dion is reportedly pregnant with twins after her sixth attempt at in-vitro fertilisation.

The 42-year-old Canadian star's dream of expanding her family has come true, her spokesman has told U.S. media.

Dion, who is married to her manager Rene Angelil, 68, is already mother to nine-year-old Rene-Carles.

And after undergoing her sixth in-vitro fertilisation attempt and turning to acupuncture to improve her chances of conceiving, her spokesman Kim Jakwerth confirmed the happy news.

Dion is said to be 14 weeks pregnant and will find out the babies' genders next month.

'We're ecstatic,' her husband and manager Rene Angelil told the website.

'Celine is just hoping for a healthy pregnancy.

'She was hoping for one baby and the news that we are having two is a double blessing.'

It was reported Celine was pregnant last August, but her spokeperson confirmed in November 2009 that the pregnancy had failed.

The My Heart Will Go On singer has never made a secret of her desire to extend her family, and was always planning to fall pregnant following her run of shows in Las Vegas last year.

But Rene's battle with cancer cast doubt over whether the couple would have more children of their own.

She said: 'We'll give it a try after my tour. Hopefully we will be parents again. If not, that's fine. We have our miracle baby.'

Celine fell pregnant with Rene-Charles after having IVF treatment following six years of attempting to conceive.

When asked last December about her plans to fall pregnant for a second time, she confirmed she and her husband had 'a frozen embryo' waiting

Last year, Rene said: 'We are living the reality of the majority of couples who have to use [IVF]. The process can be long and arduous.

'But we are full of confidence. Céline is more determined than ever.'

In February, Celine told talk show host Oprah Winfrey that she and Rene had started on their fifth pregnancy attempt, and were determined not to give up.

She said: 'It’s life. You know? A lot of people go through this, but it’s not being told because it’s not in newspaper.

'But with us, as you know, it’s like, sometimes news are like mercury.'

Celine also said she didn't want to announce her miscarriage straight away, explaining: 'They said that I was pregnant, and a couple of days after, we were not pregnant again.

'We didn’t want to feel like we were playing yo-yo - "I’m pregnant. I’m not pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’m not pregnant." So we didn’t want to do this thing. But we did have a miscarriage.'

She added: 'I will be the happiest one to tell you when I’m pregnant. And if not, I’m the luckiest artist, especially wife and mother of a wonderful son. So I’m glad.'

Meanwhile, construction on the couple's Florida dream home - a £13million oceanfront Jupiter estate - is forging full steam ahead

Belated Happy Mother's Day!

Hair-Scam!

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