Lab Grown Eggs

A major breakthrough by British scientists could bring new hope for women facing the heartbreak of infertility. For the first time a team has managed to grow hundreds of eggs in the laboratory using a new technique which could help cancer patients whose treatment can leave them infertile. It would also allow thousands more women to wait until middle age to have children.
The scientists from Edinburgh University have shown that immature eggs can be frozen, grown and matured in the lab. The process could lead to women having pieces of ovary containing the immature eggs removed and stored. Much later on, they could be thawed, fertilised and finally implanted into the womb. Some say it is morally wrong for a woman to do so and have them fertilised years later in order to delay having children while she pursues a career. However, scientists hope the new process will revolutionise fertility preservation for women because it will allow them to store many more eggs than they can under traditional IVF techniques. And, because immature eggs survive the freezing process much better than the mature ones used in IVF, it is much more likely that older women will be able to conceive using them. It brings forward the prospect that thousands of women will use the technique to side-step the menopause, delaying motherhood for the sake of their careers.
The process, which could be available in five years, also provides hope for cancer sufferers who at the moment are often left infertile following chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Powerful anti-cancer drugs can destroy follicles in the ovaries, wiping out any possibility of women having children. At the moment, these women have a piece of ovary removed, frozen and then re-transplanted after their cancer treatment. But there is always the danger that the cancer could be reintroduced by the implant.
The new technique means women's immature eggs contained in the patch of ovary could be grown in the lab and then screened for cancer before being used in IVF treatment.

There are also hopes it will provide a rich source of eggs for scientists to study for clues on ways to treat a range of diseases.
There is a shortage of human eggs for medical research, and if the technique works it would bypass the controversy over the use of animal-human 'hybrid' embryos. The research, carried out by an Edinburgh University team led by Dr Evelyn Telfer,has been published in the journal Human Reproduction. "This is a significant step in developing immature eggs to maturity outside the body," said Dr Telfer. "Women who face infertility as a result of chemotherapy, or who want to put their biological clock on hold, could benefit from this system. "However, there is a lot more research to be carried out before this technique could be safely applied within a clinical setting."

Last year, Canadian scientists announced the first birth of a child created from a human egg matured in the laboratory. However, they did not use the same "primordial follicles" studied by the researchers from Edinburgh. These are the tiny egg-bearing pockets within the ovaries that are present in their millions at birth, but gradually die off over the course of a woman's life. They represent a woman's fertility "battery" which once depleted cannot be recharged. Many remain dormant, but some go on to mature and eventually release their eggs in preparation for fertilisation. For the first time, the team led by Dr Telfer has succeeded in growing primordial follicles to a late stage of maturation in the lab. They took pieces of ovary containing the follicles from six volunteer women who were giving birth by caesarean section. These were then exposed to a chemical that promotes growth, similar to the one that functions in the ovaries. Around a third of them survived and went on to reach the advanced 'antral' stage of development. At this stage, the follicles are filled with fluid and contain eggs almost ready to be fertilised. It means that it could soon be possible to grow hundreds of eggs in the laboratory.

The Canadian team which managed to create a child from immature eggs was working with only around a dozen. Another advantage is that the follicles mature much more quickly in the lab than they do in the ovary. The scientists do not yet know whether eggs - or oocytes, to give them their technical name - matured in this way are completely normal and suitable for in-vitro fertilisation. But animal studies suggest they are. The next step is to use hormones and other substances to try to nudge the 'antral' eggs on to the next stage of maturation, and then test the technique on humans. "We believe there's good evidence that we can get normal oocytes, but of course you would never apply this technique clinically until you are sure," said Dr Telfer.
"We're seeking funding for further research to bridge that gap. It might take five to ten years from now before we get to the stage of a clinical trial." Dr Jane Stewart, consultant in reproductive medicine at the Newcastle Fertility Centre, said:
"This work increases our understanding of the maturation of human eggs in the lab and takes us a step nearer the goal of strong immature eggs for fertility preservation for women."

Acupuncture: just a placebo?

Last week, there was yet another piece of research trumpeting the benefits of acupuncture; in this case, needling was said to relieve hot flushes in breast cancer patients by up to 50 per cent. The new study, unveiled at a conference in Berlin, follows similar claims that the ancient treatment can benefit those with arthritis, back pain, migraine and infertility. But is acupuncture really the miracle treatment it seems?

It appears to have become a fashionable cure-all, with 3,000 practitioners now regulated by the British Acupuncture Council. Earlier this year the highly respected British Medical Journal (BMJ) reported that acupuncture could increase IVF success rates by 65 per cent, based on analysis of seven separate trials involving 1,366 women. According to Chinese philosophy, acupuncture works by interfering at particular points along channels in our bodies, known as meridians, thereby enhancing the flow of life energy, known as Ch'i. Although the concepts of Ch'i and meridians make no sense in terms of science, medical researchers have been interested in testing the claims of acupuncture ever since the 1970s.

But in order to test the impact of acupuncture, one must disentangle the placebo effect (which means that as long as a patient believes that a treatment will work, then they are likely to respond positively). The best clinical trials involve two groups of patients: one receiving the real treatment, the other taking something that feels real, but which is ineffective. Researchers can then see if the new intervention offers any benefit beyond what is seen with the sham one. But how do you create a form of sham acupuncture? In recent years, researchers have developed three procedures. The first involves needling the patient at the wrong points on the skin, thereby missing the "meridians". In the second, acupuncturists insert the needles to shallow depths, again avoiding the meridian. The third procedure uses retractable needles: like theatrical daggers, the skin drives the needles back into the handle of the instrument, but the patient is none the wiser.

So how accurate were the trials analysed in the BMJ? The problem is that four out of the seven trials did not include a "sham" acupuncture group, but merely compared the effect of acupuncture with no acupuncture at all; any benefit could be due to the placebo effect and therefore these trials should be ignored. When focusing on the remaining three trials which had included such a sham group, the results are less than impressive. Two out of three failed to show that real acupuncture offers any significant benefit (in terms of likelihood of pregnancy) beyond the fake treatment. The sensible conclusion is that acupuncture is still unproven in terms of increasing IVF success rates. So it is worth avoiding acupuncture in the context of IVF, since 10 per cent of patients complain of pain, bleeding or bruising, and some even experience fainting, dizziness, nausea or vomiting. These adverse effects are not serious, but the known risks outweigh the unproven benefits.

The needles helped me conceive, says Lydia Slater. As a doctor's daughter, I was brought up to despise alternative medicine. But then, about five years ago, I found myself struggling with a variety of conditions that my GP seemed unable to treat. I had developed irritable bowel syndrome; I had put on weight, was unable to sleep and full of unspecified rage at my unexplained failure to conceive. All that modern medicine seemed to offer was a course of soporific antidepressants. Then I met a friend who was being treated for polycystic ovary syndrome by a Harley Street acupuncturist, a practitioner who, incidentally, specialised in unexplained infertility. I booked myself in, without telling my parents. The weekly sessions weren't cheap - some £80 a time. Initially, I was scared of the needles, but the acupuncturist was so skilled I felt nothing. I soon had them sticking out of my ears and in my finger joints. As the needle went in, I sometimes felt a violent jolt of electricity in one limb, or flashing along my body's nerve networks. Often, I would be visited by a burst of exhilaration or was suffused with a feeling of calm. The experience was positively addictive. I increased the sessions, sometimes to twice a week, which I could ill afford. Instead, I gave up shopping and eating out. The effects were startling: first, the IBS cleared up; then I ceased to comfort-eat and lost weight. I booked sessions to coincide with difficult situations, such as prior to a work meeting at which I had to negotiate a new contract. The acupuncturist told me that he would arrange the needles so as to boost my oestrogen levels, reduce stress and thus improve my chances of conceiving. It sounded like mumbo jumbo, but although I'm normally diffident, I found myself storming into the office and insisting on precisely the deal I was after. It was about the same time that I discovered I was pregnant. I now have two daughters, Asya, nearly four, and Rosie, two. I can't believe that my return to health can be attributed to a placebo effect. So many people I know can attest to the benefits of acupuncture: it has helped friends with everything from healing torn muscles to boosting low self-esteem. These days when I'm ill, I still go to my GP. But if a problem is nebulous or intractable, I'll be straight back to the needles.

By Simon Singh (The Telegraph, London, UK)
'Trick or Treatment? Alternative Medicine on Trial' by Simon Singh and Edzard Ernst (Bantam) is available from Telegraph Books for £14.99 + £1.25 p&p. To order, call 0870 428 4112 or go to books.telegraph.co.uk

Steroid Use Fails To Boost Pregnancy Rates In Infertility Treatments

There is no clear benefit from a hormone commonly prescribed to enhance the effectiveness of infertility treatments, according to a new review of studies. The steroid hormones called glucocorticoids have potent effects on the body's inflammatory and immune responses, so many fertility specialists prescribe them in hopes of making the lining of the uterus more receptive to embryo implantation. But lead review author Carolien Boomsma says that routine practice should stop. "This meta-analysis shows that empirical use of glucocorticoids is not supported by evidence from studies," she said. "Moreover, we don't know enough about the possible adverse effects of glucocorticoids in early pregnancy. Therefore, at present, glucocorticoids should not be prescribed in this way," said Boomsma, a researcher at the University Medical Centre Utrecht in the Netherlands. The review appears in the most recent issue of The Cochrane Library, a publication of The Cochrane Collaboration, an international organization that evaluates medical research. Systematic reviews draw evidence-based conclusions about medical practice after considering both the content and quality of existing medical trials on a topic.
The review compares success rates between would-be mothers who took glucocorticoids around the time of embryo implantation and those who did not. All of the women underwent one of two types of assisted reproductive technology. In vitro fertilization (IVF) involves removing mature eggs from a woman's ovary, mixing them with sperm in the laboratory, and placing the embryos in the woman's reproductive tract. Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) is another in vitro fertilization practice where a single sperm is injected directly into a harvested egg. The meta-analysis pooled data from 13 studies including 1,759 couples. Every study was a randomized controlled trial, which is considered the most reliable form of scientific evidence.
The review found no overall improvement in pregnancy rates when the assisted reproductive technologies were combined with glucocorticoid treatment. However, six of the studies -- of 650 women undergoing IVF -- revealed a slightly higher pregnancy rate among women who took the hormones. The review authors say the difference barely exceeds that which could be attributed to mere chance.
"At present, glucocorticoids should not be offered as a routine procedure in women undergoing ART (assisted reproductive technologies), except in the context of well-designed studies," the reviewers conclude. Glucocorticoids can bring on problems such as infections or premature births. Though the available studies reported no significant increases in these negative outcomes, they were "poorly and inconsistently reported," the review said. Further research is needed to clarify both benefits and harms, Boomsma and colleagues said. Only three of the studies in the review continued long enough to report actual birth rates rather than simply pregnancy rates. "Trials should be of sufficient duration to have live birth as their primary outcome," the authors say. Despite substantial improvements in IVF and ICSI techniques, only 20 percent to 30 percent of couples go home with a healthy baby after each treatment cycle. That tantalizing hint of benefit may nevertheless encourage some practitioners to continue routine use of glucocorticoids for their IVF patients, said Randall Hines, M.D., director of the division of reproductive endocrinology and infertility at the University of Mississippi Medical Center. "When you have a therapy that doesn't have significant risk and doesn't impose significant burden on the patient in terms of cost or inconvenience, it's hard for people to let go of it," said Hines, who was not involved in the review and does not prescribe glucocorticoids routinely in his practice.

The compiled studies included couples who were infertile due to a wide variety of problems in either the woman, man or both partners. Future research may reveal that glucocorticoids do help specific subsets of these patients, the authors say. For example, women with unexplained infertility, endometriosis, recurrent implantation failure or certain immunological issues may benefit from the hormonal effects on uterine receptivity. None of the studies included in the review focused specifically on these patient groups.

Reference: Boomsma CM, Keay SD, Macklon NS. Peri-implantation glucocorticoid administration for assisted reproductive technology cycles (Review). Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2007, Issue 1.
The Cochrane Collaboration is an international nonprofit, independent organization that produces and disseminates systematic reviews of health care interventions and promotes the search for evidence in the form of clinical trials and other studies of interventions. Visit http://www.cochrane.org for more information.

I fell In Love With This One

A Senior Citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible.
He took off down the road, stepping it up to 80 mph and enjoying the
wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. 'This
is great,' he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to
the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw
a highway patrol trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring.

'I can get away from him with no problem!' thought the man. He
tromped down on the accelerator and flew down the highway at 100mph.
Then 110 mph. Then 120 mph. All of a sudden he thought, 'What am I
doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing.'

He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to
catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and
walked up to the man. 'Sir,' he said, looking at his watch, 'My shift
ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason
why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The man looked at the trooper and said, 'Years ago my wife ran off
with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.'
The trooper replied, 'Sir, have a nice day.'

Visual Humor

I Loved This One

Cancer could return unless stored ovarian tissue undergoes adequate testing before re-implantation

Cancer patients who have been successfully treated for their disease face the prospect of its return if stored ovarian (or testicular) tissue is transplanted back into their bodies without adequate checks, according to researchers at two university hospitals in Israel. Writing in Europe’s leading reproductive medicine journal, Human Reproduction, the researchers say that hundreds of cancer patients worldwide have ovarian tissue and, in some cases, testicular tissue frozen in the hope of being able to have children after their cancer treatment has finished; but they warn that few fertility centres have the skills and use the technology needed to check the tissue for residual cancer cells, making it possible for the original cancer to re-infect the body when the tissue is re-implanted to restore the patients’ fertility.

“The interest in ovarian tissue storage as a real option for preserving fertility in cancer patients has increased. However, genuine concerns regarding the possible recrudescence [re-appearance] of the primary disease following re-implantation of stored ovarian tissue with malignant cells exist,” write the authors. The first author of the report, Dr Dror Meirow, said: “We think it’s vitally important to raise awareness amongst cancer patients, fertility specialists, oncologists and haematologists. There are few fertility centres in the world with the expertise and the technology to run the types of tests on tissue that are needed to detect residual cancer. “However, not every reproductive service that has surgical skills and freezing facilities can be safely responsible for ovarian tissue cryopreservation. We suggest that these centres should store tissue for future investigation, and samples can be shipped to specialist centres for analysis.”

Dr Meirow, who leads the fertility preservation programme in the IVF Unit at Chaim Sheba Medical Center, Tel Hashomer (headed by Professor Jehoshua Dor), carried out the research with Professor Dina Ben Yehuda, director of the Hematology Division at Hadassah University Hospital, Jerusalem. Dr Meirow said that fertility centres with close connections to cancer and haematological centres should be able to work together in order to adopt the correct methods for checking stored tissue.

Before collecting tissue from the 58 young women in this study, Dr Meirow and his colleagues used various imaging methods (sonography, CT and PET scans) to look for cancer in the pelvis and ovaries of the patients; the women were about to receive chemotherapy for haematological cancers such as Hodgkin’s lymphoma, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and leukaemia, between 1997 and 2007. They found cancer in the pelvic area of two patients, and therefore ovarian tissue was not harvested. They collected tissue from the other 56 patients and, in addition to freezing strips for future transplantation; they also froze a smaller piece of ovarian tissue separately for each patient. They planned to use these extra strips for future checks for the presence of cancer cells, using the most modern methods that would be available at the time the tissue was thawed and prepared for transplantation.

You are what your mother eats, study

Women who eat cereal for breakfast have an increased chance of having sons instead of daughters, a British study has found. Research by the Universities of Exeter and Oxford have uncovered strong links between higher energy intake among mothers around the time of conception and the birth of boys. "The consumption of breakfast cereals was also strongly associated with having male infants,'' the study said.

The study, published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences journal, focused on 740 first-time mothers in the UK who did not know the gender of their unborn baby. The women were asked to provide records of their eating habits before and during the early stages of pregnancy. They were then split into three groups according to the number of calories consumed per day around the time they conceived.

Of the women in the group with the highest energy intake at conception, 56 per cent had sons, compared with 45 per cent in the group with the lowest calorie intake. As well as consuming more calories, women who had sons were more likely to have eaten a higher quantity and wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12. The study's lead author, Fiona Mathews of the University of Exeter's School of Biosciences, said the findings could shed light on modern eating habits and birth statistics. "This research may help to explain why in developed countries, where many young women choose to have low calorie diets, the proportion of boys born is falling,'' Dr Mathews said.

While sex is genetically determined by fathers, the study indicated mothers appear able to favour the development of one sex of infant over another. While the mechanism is not yet understood, IVF research shows high levels of glucose encourage the growth and development of male embryos while inhibiting female embryos. Dr Mathews said there were implications for recent debates on whether to regulate so-called gender clinics that allow parents to select the sex of offspring, by manipulating sperm, for non-medical reasons. "Here we have evidence of a natural mechanism that means that women appear to be already controlling the sex of their offspring by their diet,'' she said. In animal studies, scientists have already established that more sons are produced when a mother has plentiful resources or is high ranking. "Potentially, males of most species can father more offspring than females, but this can be strongly influenced by the size or social status of the male, with poor quality males failing to breed at all,'' Dr Mathews said.

"Females, on the other hand, reproduce more consistently. "If a mother has plentiful resources, then it can make sense to invest in producing a son because he is likely to produce more grandchildren than would a daughter. "However, in leaner times having a daughter is a safer bet.''

Device offers cheaper IVF during lunch break

A new approach to fertility treatment that could allow women to have a cheaper form of IVF in their lunch hour is being developed. The Invocell device is designed to enable IVF to be performed without complex laboratory equipment and could make the procedure faster, more convenient and less expensive.

In standard IVF, eggs are fertilised with sperm outside the body, and any resulting embryos are left to develop in culture for three to five days before the best are transferred to the womb. The Invocell device is a sealed capsule that allows fertilisation to take place inside the body, in the vaginal cavity.

A woman would first be given mild drugs to stimulate her ovaries, and then eggs would be removed from them while she was under sedation. Up to seven eggs would then be put into the Invocell capsule, along with washed sperm.The capsule would then be placed inside the vagina. After three days, the patient would return for a second appointment, during which the capsule would be removed and any fertilised embryos examined for quality. The best one or two eggs would be transferred to thewomb.

The first appointment would take about 90 minutes and the second half an hour, according to Claude Ranoux, of BioXcell, the Massachusetts-based company that developed the device. Because eggs, sperm and embryos would at no point be stored outside the body, the technique means IVF could be performed in a doctor's office, without incurring the costs involved in incubation. Dr Ranoux said this would cut the cost of fertility treatment by hundreds of pounds. The typical bill in Britain is about Sterling pounds 2500 ($5300) a cycle.

BioXcell has completed about 800 trial cycles, obtaining a clinical pregnancy rate of 19.7per cent. The average success rate for conventional treatments for women aged under 35 in Britain is 29.6 per cent. BioXcell has applied for approval for the device from the US Food and Drug Administration, and it has also received a European Union CE mark.

Dr Ranoux said the company hoped to market it in Europe, including Britain, later this year.

Disfigured Wounded US Soldiers To Get New Skin, Ears & Fingers

The US Department of Defense has announced a five year program to develop new stem-cell based treatments for service members disfigured from war-time injuries. The new Armed Forces Institute of Regenerative Medicine (AFIRM) will explore the use of a patient's own stem cells to grow replacement skin, tissue and other body parts. AFIRM will collaborate with the US Army Institute of Surgical Research, in San Antonio, Texas and several universities including Wake Forest University, North Carolina; Rutgers University in New Jersey; and the University of Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania.
The new initiative aims to use stem cell technology to make new skin, tendons, muscles, as well as new body parts such as ears, fingers and noses. Speaking at a press conference held last week, Lt Gen Eric Schoomaker cited the case of a badly-burned Marine, who will receive a new nose and ears grown using his own stem cells. He added 'the cells that we're talking about actually exist in our bodies today'.
The use of improvised explosive devices (IEDs) in Iraq and Afghanistan is apparently the main reason for a marked increase in severe blast trauma, which now accounts for three quarters of all injuries. Within five years, AFIRM hope to develop new therapies for burn repair, wound healing without scarring, facial reconstruction and limb reconstruction or regeneration. 'We're embarking on a new generation of research that's going to redefine the Army and military medicine as we know it today', said Schoomaker.
Dr Anthony Atala, director of the Institute for Regenerative Medicine at Wake Forest University, explained: 'All the parts of your body, tissues and organs, have a natural repository of cells that are ready to replicate when an injury occurs'. The scientists hope to harness this regenerative ability to grow replacement tissue that will not be rejected by the patient's body. For replacement body parts such as ears, the cells will be 'painted' on to a biodegradable scaffold, and incubated for a few weeks before being transplanted on to the patient's body. AFIRM will receive around $250 million over the initial five years,
about $80 million of which will come from the Department of Defense, with the remaining funding coming from other private and public organisations, including the National Institutes of Health.

Little wonder from India

A teenager from India who stands at a tiny 1ft 11in (58cm) tall is the smallest girl in the world. Jyoti Amge, 14, is shorter than the average two-year-old child and only weighs 11lb (5kg). Jyoti is smaller than the average two-year-old child. She has a form of dwarfism called achondroplasia and won't grow any taller than her current height. Due to her size, Jyoti has to have clothes and jewellery made for her. She sleeps in a tiny bed and uses special plates and cutlery to eat, as normal-sized utensils are too big. Despite this, she goes to a regular school in Nagpur, central India, where she has her own small desk and chair, and her classmates treat her like any other student.
Jyoti also shares common interests with other teenagers, with a love for DVDs and fashionable dresses. She said: 'I am proud of being small. I love all the attention I get. I'm not scared of being small and I don't regret it. 'I'm just the same as other people. I eat like you, dream like you. I don't feel any different.' Jyoti is treated like a mini-celebrity in her home town, where people flock to meet her and some even treat her like a goddess. She will even be releasing an album with her favourite Indian pop star, the bhangra/rap star Mika Singh.
Her mum, Ranjana Amge, 45, said: 'When Jyoti was born, she seemed quite normal. We came to know about her disorder when she was five. 'We consulted a specialist and he said she will be this size all of her life. Jyoti is small, yet cute, and we love her very much.' Jyoti is ambitious and hopes to work as a Bollywood actress one day. She said: 'I would love to work in a big city like Mumbai, act in films and travel to London and America.
Jyoti chats to her friends on her phone, just like any other teenager . 'I'm proud of being small. I love all the attention I get because of it.' Her dad, Kishanji Amge, 52, said: 'I can't separate myself from her even for a single day. I love her very much.
'She makes me proud. Lots of gurus come to see and bless her. They pray for her happiness and long life.'

Salaam Bombay!

-Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
-There is no darkness in Andheri.
-Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
-No King ever stayed at King's Circle .
-Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
-Nor is there any Princess at Princess Street .
-Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
-There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
-The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
-There are no pigs traded at Dukkar bazaar.
-Teen batti is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
-Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar TT.).
-Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but famous for a Hospital.
-Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
-You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street.
-There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
-There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.
-Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
-Null bazaar does not sell taps.
-You will not find ladyfingers at Bhendi Bazaar.
-Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
-Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
-Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
-Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi.
-Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,
-Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi.
-But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!
-AMCHI MUMBAI
-A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible .

-Where telephone bills make a person ill,
-Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.
-Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
-Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,
-Where college canteens are full and classes empty,
-Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,
-Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
-Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,
-Where sky scrapers overlook the slum,
-Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,
-Where people first act and then think,
-Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
-Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
-Where the beggars become rich soon,
-Where the roads are leveled when the minister arrives,
-Where college admission means hard cash,
-Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.
-This is Mumbai my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

THINGS TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE
1. You say 'town ' and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.
3. Your door has more than three locks.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
5. Train timings ( 9.27 , 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
8.. You're paying Rs 10,000,00 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a 'steal.'
9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay. (REALLY TRUE!)
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road ....
11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately.
12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the 'Bombay Times' supplement.
13. You take fashion seriously.
14.You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you-Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
16. You compare Bombay to New York 's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
22. Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken

Salaam Bombay!!

-Anonymous Mumbaite

Breaking News

Click http://www.rbmonline.com/Article/3145 to go straight to the abstract. Rotunda has just published its latest work in RBM online!
Cheers!!

Weight Watcher

Blond Genes

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handywoman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.


She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.


"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"


The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would
need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"


He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all
those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.


"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats."


Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it
to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus".

Ice, ice, baby!

A couple from Stockport, Greater Manchester, have conceived a second baby using sperm frozen 19 years ago. Emmanuel and Zoe Iyoha are expecting their second child after receiving IVF treatment using sperm preserved on Mr Iyoha's behalf in 1989.
Mr Iyoha was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and a tumour on his spleen when he was 27 years old. Staff at the Christie Hospital in Manchester warned him that the chemotherapy would leave him infertile and encouraged him to have his sperm frozen so that he would have the option of having children after he recovered. Mr Iyoha expressed his gratitude,
saying: 'it was the Christie nurses who persuaded me it was something that I should do and I will be forever grateful to them for this miracle. They must have seen within me the father-in-waiting. At the time, I was far more preoccupied with the cancer'.
Mr Iyoha, a computer expert for the NHS, has had a long battle with his cancer, but is now in remission after suffering a relapse in 1995. He married Zoe, a teacher, in 2002 and the newly-wed couple were only able to consider having children together thanks to the sperm stored at St Mary's Hospital in Manchester. 'We're certainly pretty unlikely to have an unplanned pregnancy after two bouts of chemotherapy' commented My Iyoha.
Freezing sperm is the only chance many men who face chemotherapy at a young age have of preserving their fertility. Unfortunately, however, the technique does not always work, as the sperm may be left too damaged by the freezing and thawing process for IVF to be successful. It took Mr and Mrs Iyoha 12 rounds of IVF treatment including, sadly, one miscarriage before their first child, Poppy Rose, was born in 2006. Remarkably, they have conceived their second child, which is due in July, after just four rounds of IVF.
Mr Iyoha said: 'every time I think about how long it has been since my sperm was frozen I am amazed at the power of science'. He added: 'we owe it all to science and the wonderful care and support of the staff at Christie's and St. Mary's'. In 2004, doctors at St Mary's hospital reported the birth of baby conceived using sperm that had been frozen for 21 years, believed to
be the longest reported storage period for sperm successfully used for treatment.

'Internet sperm' founder jailed

John Gonzalez, the founding director of a controversial UK-based online company - 'ManNotIncluded.com', which delivered fresh sperm to women for DIY-insemination - was sentenced last week at the Wood Green Crown Court in London to sixteen months incarceration for five counts of fraudulent activities. Judge Juliet May QC said that he had 'siphoned off thousands of
pounds' in a 'sustained course of fraudulent conduct' and banned him from being a company director for five years.
The Department of Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform (BERR) led the investigation, which uncovered shocking business practices - including one client receiving sperm in a dirty coffee canister, while two former employees describe how women were given sperm from donors with completely different characteristics than requested. Gonzalez was successfully
prosecuted for lying to officials, forging documents and falsifying debts to evade relinquishing assets to creditors while illegally embezzling those funds to support an opulent lifestyle. Ultimately, he pleaded guilty to two counts of fraudulent trading, one count of financial misconduct, one count of forgery and one count of perjury.
Gonzalez launched the online business June 2002 amidst stormy criticism, claiming the website was the world's first to courier fresh sperm and insemination equipment directly to lesbian, single and medically infertile couples who paid to register on the site, charging up to £7,000 for delivery. Some critics viewed the service as a threat to the family unit and dubbed the site 'morals not included'.
Gonzalez's service illustrated a loophole in current UK regulation, which governs frozen gamete storage and use, but not 'fresh' sperm. Medical practitioners and government authorities warned that this kind of service poses a potential threat to women's and the resulting child's health because the fresh sperm is not screened for any diseases. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology 1990 Act requires sperm donations to be quarantined for up to 180 days for testing. Some infections such as HIV may take up to three months to incubate, meaning that an HIV test at the time of the donation may not detect the virus even though the donor might be carrying it.
The service also presented potential legal complications. Under UK law, donors whose sperm is obtained through HFEA licensed clinics are not the legal parents of any resulting offspring. However, the legal position on the parentage of children born via sperm donated outside of HFEA license is unclear.
Gonzalez maintains that ManNotIncluded.com boasted 20 pregnancies and more than 5,000 customers. In December 2004, Gonzalez illegally liquidated the company with debt totalling over £220,000 and then continued to trade under a slightly different name. Meanwhile, he embezzled £185,000 from these company accounts.

World's Largest Swimming Pool

Can you believe this place in Chile? Imagine doing 10 laps of this pool lengthwise! On a jet-ski maybe. It is 1.3 kms long, 800 mtrs wide (8/10 of a mile long by 1/2 mile wide) at its shortest point and varies from ankle depth to 8 mtrs deep.

It employs 41 life guards and has lifesaving devices which pop out of the bottom in various locations in case of rescue requirements. Built jointly by Korean/Japanese interests, it's expected to have a business life scale of 15 years. Wonder how they clean the thing?

Cheap Trick

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did."

No Frills Airline

sQuba - World's First Swimming Car

Three decades ago James Bond (then enacted by British star Roger Moore) wowed the world with a car that could 'fly' under water in the movie "The Spy Who Loved Me". Only, it was animation and not an actual scene. But Frank M Rinderknecht, the 52-year-old automobile visionary and boss of Swiss automaker Rinspeed, has turned a dream into reality with his 'sQuba.'
Rinspeed sQuba is the most exciting thing at this year's Geneva Motor Show and is creating many a ripple.

sQuba is the world's first real submersible car that can 'move like a fish underwater'.

It can dive up to 32.8 feet (10 mt) below the surface of the water and can move at a sedate 1.8 miles per hour.

The sQuba has an open cockpit for 'safety reasons' (so that people can get out easily anytime in case of an emergency). The occupants of the car have to breathe compressed air through built-in scuba masks.

sQuba is an electric car that uses rechargeable lithium-ion batteries and 3 electric motors for propulsion. It is a zero-emission car as documented by the rotating license plate in the rear. It produces no exhaust emissions.

The 'sQuba's' filling station is the water reservoir. It is no surprise that the vehicle features powerful yet energy-saving LED lighting technology.

The first car that could drive underwater was Quandt's Amphibicar, built in 1968. Only 3,878 were produced but many are still being driven on roads. Then Gibbs Technologies came up with Gibbs Aquada in 2004 which Virgin boss Richard Branson used to break the speed record for crossing the English Channel. However, the sQuba seems to be the most exciting of them all.

To drive on the roads, the sQuba 'relies on a stainless coil-over suspension from KW automotive and large Pirelli tires mounted on custom-made forged light-weight wheels from AEZ with 17- and 18-inch diameters.

Word of Mouth

Dinner is served - 165 feet up

A chef prepares meals while diners enjoy panoramic views harnessed in seats that swivel 180 degrees, suspended via a crane.
Here's a dining concept that'll make your head if not your stomach spin: It's dinner at a table suspended 165 feet in the air with chairs that swivel 180 degrees.

Dubbed Dinner in the Sky, the attraction is making its U.S. debut Monday in Orlando at the annual International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions convention. About 25,000 attendees are expected at the one-stop-shopping event, where the amusement industry rolls out new thrill rides and related products.

The high-flying dining venue was introduced in Europe last year and consists of a platform suspended from a crane. Guests are harnessed into 22 seats, with space in the center for a chef and two helpers. With local officials' blessings, the platform can be transported to just about anywhere the crane can maneuver. One recent spot: in front of the Amiens Cathedral in France, with dinner prepared by a three-star Michelin chef.

'It was like eating with the 12 apostles and Jesus Christ,' quips David Ghysels, co-founder of the Belgium-based company.

Ghysels sees all sorts of U.S. possibilities for the dangling restaurant, including air space over the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls and golf courses.

'I think human beings always like to see what's happening from the air,' he says. 'And there are so many wonderful natural spots in the U.S. - Dinner in the Sky could go anywhere.'

The restaurant (dinnerinthesky.com) belongs firmly in the special-occasion category, however. The cost for eight hours is about $11,444 not including catering.

Seeing double: Indian baby born with four eyes, two mouths and two faces

To some she may seem an oddity, but to one Indian couple their newborn daughter is simply a God reincarnated. Their as yet un-named six-day-old baby girl was born with two faces, two mouths and four eyes in the rural Nagar district of Uttar Pradesh, 50km north east of New Delhi.

Her parents, Vinod and Susham Singh from a village called Sani, said their little girl was "a gift from God". Excited villagers claim she is the reincarnation of the Indian God Ganesha and celebrated her arrival with clapping, cheering and offerings of gifts and money.

Doctors who delivered the baby said she appeared to be in good health, but said further tests will need to be carried out to determine any long-term health problems she may have.The baby is fed by hand. Doctors are not yet able to say is she will be able to have normal eating functions. They are also unable to say if she will be able to eat and function normally.

The excitement surrounding her arrival comes two years after the birth of another little girl, from the poverty stricken region of Bihar, who was born attached to her headless twin. In a 40 hour operation, doctors successfully removed the lifeless body from Lakshmi Tatma, who was hailed as a reincarnation of Vishnu. The extraordinary eight-limbed baby was born on the day devoted to the celebration of the four-armed Hindu deity Vishnu. Since the operation Lakshmi has successfully taken her first steps. Her mother Poonam Tatma said she believed her daughter was "a miracle".